Strong Boundaries and Standing up for myself

[sgctxok]

Sorry, SG -- I'm with the unruly masses on this one. Frank has enough "Frank" stuff to keep him occupied for now.

Now, if that IS his "strategy" -- to work on Frank -- then godblessim, but his recent post sounded like he was already focusing on when his wife might come back.

Puppy

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess we'll have that



Well....That's IF you give STRATEGY a BAD name...which obviously some of you do.

It's ideal to have pure motives.

Sometimes it's just a matter of words around here, though.

If you CALL it a STRATEGY to change your behavior in order to change your spouse's behavior..........we ACTUALLY call it DBing...it's in DR/DB and on this site.

Whatever Frank chooses to do and whatever Frank chooses to call it....if it gets Frank what he wants/needs....it's ok by me. If you call me sgDr.PHIL...I WILL cringe.

EVERYONE is at different stages, and if you're not at the place where your motives are so pure, that you're doing it for yourself and not for your relationship, it's ok.

IN FACT....if you are EVER doing it for the relationship and not purely for yourself.....folks it's OK.

What's isn't really helpful.....and again, maybe it's mincing words .... but that's what we do on this forum......is being so dependent on the relationship that we can't make ourselves happy.

THERE IS NEVER, NEVER, NEVER onesizefitsall GOOD advice for a situation. Not even detachment. Not even GAL. And the bandwagon isn't a good idea.

I have no problems with Frank.

I have no problems with strategy either. Actually, I don't think Frank is doing that here.....I'm just adding the fact, because ... if he WERE using it as a strategy....it's ok. AND IT'S EVEN GREAT....if it gets him what he wants... (and I'm not even talking about the end justifying the means in ALL situations, including greed and evil...so don't even go there with me, I WILL ignore it.)