I know that this isn't much consolation but somehow good things do seem to come out of the blue. Even in the midst of the hardest period in our lives all of the things on the perimeters just seem to fall into place. Pay close attention because miracles do happen. This isn't just me being a Polyanna. It's fact, without my having gone through this, I would have missed out on so many blessings. I believe this experience happens to bring us to the place we were meant to be.
I have to say that I read with interest what you wrote about your wife. I remember many of the samethings, and thinking that if someone didn't know what was going on in my H life, they would think that he didn't have a care in the world. You've got to remember she's finally getting what she wants. Except for her periods of confussion, emotionally she's been detaching for much longer than you have, so for her to be flitting around to the beach, and parks and wherever else, it's because she's doing exactly what she wants. She thinks that this will be a magic bullet. Of course it won't be, how can it? For so long I thought that I could save my ex from himself. Now I realize that he would never have been happy unless he played it out. Thing is, he has played it out and he's still not happy. But guess what, I am and it just keeps getting better everyday.
Don't get me wrong. I still feel very sad for my children. They certainly didn't deserve what they got. I realized that by my fighting this and not making my life better with finding happiness, I was holding them hostage. In the end their Dad was out re-living what he felt he had never got to do, so giving them back some normalacy was left to me. I will never forget my son saying to me, "I just want my Mom back".
Work on giving your kids that gift FIB. Don't let your wife take that away from you!
