I think the db coach is a great idea. I also really like Lola's idea and think I'm going to test it out for myself today.
Your xh loves you, that is has been evident to me from your posts all along. He has told you what he needs from you for things to work between you. I think for now, stop worrying about him, what he's doing, when he's coming over etc. Start working on you, and on your changes. Getting rid of your own inner demons. MHO, once you do this, things will be on a whole different track for you both.
