An update;

Yesterday was our 23rd Anniversary, and for this year, I decided to make it an all-week event, rather than calling the florist and sending the 'obligatory' flowers on the appropriate day. Sure, those would have been appreciated, but after 23 years, it's, well, [yawn] predictable and not as romantic as it could be. So here's what I did:

Monday: I sent her a cute Hallmark ecard (I prefer the music and animation to a traditional card).

Tuesday: I *intended* to get her a pair of roses from the corner store, which carries flowers to attract romantic impulse-buys from the husbands getting milk or something on the way home from work. However, they only had one rose, and it was pretty pitiful looking. So I got her a 'grab-bag' of her favorite candies instead.

Wednesday: An (overpriced ;\)) Vermont Teddy Bear arrives for her, which is a 'male' match to the 'female' bear that I got her for Valentine's Day 2007 (when we were separated). Now she has the reunited pair -- a bit of symbolism.

Thursday (A-DAY!): I worked from home and watched the kids while I sent her off for a 1-hour massage session at a local spa. I had wanted to pamper her with a facial too, but they couldn't work it in. Meh, she still enjoyed the massage, and it's something she would *never* pamper herself with.

Friday: Our night out, with the baby-sitters already lined up.

And what did I get?

Yesterday evening I found a tasteful little heart-shaped box on my side of the bed, which contained a little book of Shakespearian quotes and several individually wrapped notes (like candy). Each note has a Shakespearian sonnet on one side, and a related romantic IOU type "favor" on the other. I was encouraged to open one 'favor' last night. It was...blissful (and fun). Now I'm like a kid after Halloween. Will I ration myself and make the 'candy' last until Thanksgiving? Or will I burn through it all far too quickly? (I'm smart enough to choose the conservative approach).

This is a HUGE step for her, and one that I truly appreciate. After all the years where the thought of romance and sex evoked reactions of anxiety, pressure, or obligation on her part, to see her now be able to treat it as something fun and playful is absolutely wonderful. The amount of trust in me, in US as a romantic couple, that that little box represents is pretty phenomenal.

Very sweet, after a somewhat frustrating summer.

-- B.

Last edited by Bagheera; 08/22/08 05:00 PM.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs
S25, D23, S13, S10
20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007