Nonchalance &theOlympics while your family crashes

[faithisbelieving]

To amyc I don't know how you do it..but....your posts..well..they lift me. I want to hug you and throw you up in the air and catch you. Thank you.

To KerryK: read the PDF...you may find your W in there, sugardaddy and all.

I'll keep a thread going. As many know from my last thread, I just completed my visit to the law guardian. Discussing my children and the hurtful things my W did brought out some tears. I hope...that I didn't come across as the weaker parent uncontrolled. Ironically (or as a ploy), my STBXW told the LG that I was a good father and good husband which the LG said she found confusing as to why our marriage was not working.

My W continues to be nonchalant as our family 'slowly hurdles' towards destruction. Cheering for Michael Phelps...taking the kids all over the place..the beach, water parks, etc....showing not a care in the world anymore. She is booking well-visits to the pediatrician and notifying me if I'd like to go.

No R talk.
No M talk.
Diminishing roller coasters.
Resolute.

I give her credit. I wish I could do the same.

This is the world of divorce.

At times, it makes me worry that they are 'plotting again'...that something is up. I wonder if she has met someone new and she is happy...with another OM waiting in the wings. Or...since she is seeing a psychologist..is she back on meds?

Dunno.

All I can do is fill out the paperwork..do as the judge orders...and continue to try and find a better life for myself and my children. My next interview is next week in NYC. If they want me....it's contract next.

Medicine is collapsing around me. Morale is at an all time low. Reimbursements do not cover overhead. Two chiefs approached me yesterday. They will soon be offering a paltry $500 to cover the ER...no one wants to take ER call. We've lost almost 10 general surgeons in our area over the last 3-5 years without replacement.
In response to an email I sent to my old chief resident who is the director of surgery at a nearby hospital:

FIB..this is what we are paying here--recently reduced by XXX. That's not much for lotsa torture. I was up all night, operating, until 6 this morning on an extremely difficult case. I am certain that the reimbursment will be pennies.

I should be much happier right now: I got excellent feedback on my 8 interview gauntlet run. The CEO called me yesterday..HIMSELF...and told me he was optimistic about me joining them.

It makes me feel good about myself...but it doesn't take away the pain of divorce still. As frank_d may recall...and others who have followed..my W once told me I 'had my head up my ass' with regards to my work.

No.

No.

I may not have been a great businessman, but, I would NEVER let my family down. I face greater financials struggles, but, I have hope now.

Hope.

Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.

FIB