Strong Boundaries and Standing up for myself

[Bworl]

I know the purpose of this site.

Hell, I know that THAT is the purpose of everyone who comes here.

It would be nice though if every once in awhile we would be allowed to be REAL with those we have followed so closely here.

Strategies are great. The DB'ing techniques give us great guidance both for getting OURSELVES straight and for doing things that can positively impact our marital relationships.

But please, let's not be naive or pollyanna-ish.

There comes a point in some situations where the sole focus needs to be on personal survival.

When we have become SO consumed by our spouse and marriage, and when THEIR actions have been so consistently detrimental to our well being and the well being of our family...

...well then it becomes time to cut them loose.

And THAT, I believe, is what Frank has done.

He established a peaceful relationship with his emotionally vacant spouse and that relationship had a proviso - NO involvement with others if we are to continue to cohabitate.

His wife has violated that proviso. Even worse, she does not care that she has violated it. She expects Frank to suck it up and continue on, leaving her to whatever type of life she chooses to live.

So he told her it was time to go.

And Frank, now is NOT the time to be worrying about whether she will return or not.

You have bigger fish to fry right now.

You and your daughters, and your financial present and future are your concerns now.

What your wife does or does not do, what future unfolds before her...all of these things merely serve to DISTRACT you from the real work that lies in front of you.

She is gone. She broke your trust again, violated the one thing you asked her to hold to in order to stay in the same house.

Now is not the time to be strategizing how to win her back, in my opinion.

Now is the time to get YOURSELF right.

Until that happens, let the cards fall where they may.


Blessings,

Bill