It started off really well. He picked me up at around 7 and we dropped of some papers to a client. Then we went to the mall where the movie was showing and decided to have some Sushi before the movie. We had some good laughs and talked like old friends. Until I once again opened my mouth. I will not get into it now. I left him at the Sushi place to pay the bill and I waited for him outside. He was justifiably upset that I left him alone in the restaurant. We went home without seeing the movie.
I've been a real pain to him for so long and I have to let him go the best way I can. He has tried so hard to be my friend but I haven't been nice, caring or worthy of the friendship.
I've done a horrrible job of this and don't feel I have much to offer you guys. So I think I'll stay off the boards for a while. It's been fun and I value your kinds words of encouragement so much but my time is up.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I've done a horrrible job of this and don't feel I have much to offer you guys. So I think I'll stay off the boards for a while. It's been fun and I value your kinds words of encouragement so much but my time is up.
Jen,
We are here for each other, some offer more than they receive, some need more than they are able to give. We all give in different ways. If you do stay off, you will be missed terribly.
I don't think any of us want you to give up, but of course that is your decision. There are plenty here that think your sitch has plenty of hope.....
When you are ready to get back to work answer this:
Quote:
He has tried so hard to be my friend but I haven't been nice, caring or worthy of the friendship.
Why is this? Why haven't you been nice, caring, etc. Is it past hurt, is it forgiveness you haven't given, is it insecurity. I have my suspicions, but only you can answer this. I think if you can take care of this one piece of the puzzle the remainder of your sitch will come together. There must be a lot of love and passion there, because your H still keeps coming back to the well.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hi TD...I'm not giving up on my M but I'm taking a break from the pressure of it. I still think that there is a lot of love there. I don't feel that I deserve it. Maybe it's a self esteem issue which is something I've suffered for quite a while. That's probably a big factor in why I haven't been kind to my XH I don't think I deserve him. When alls been said and done he keeps coming back to be nice to me. I value and respect him and want him to be happy.
What are your suspicions? Please be honest with me.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Oh Honey I am so sorry. When you need to talk we are here...
(((((((((((((((Jen))))))))))))))))))
Huge hug...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
My XH has done so much for me and all I've done is kick him where it hurts. My OAI has killed what he felf for me. I vented here about his friends and he told me Wednesday and last night that he's done everything to protect me and that he's even gone so far as flat out forbid the one I was most worried about from calling or texting him because I hurt when he talks to her. He said except for flat out telling her to F off there's nothing more he can do.
I've been horrible to him and I need to def. prove that I'm sorry because sometimes the words mean nothing.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Jen, Sweetie, remember this is a roller coaster. Just take a "brain break" now. You need a rest. It is all going to be okay. He is still talking to you, and telling you these things, and it is not like he cut you off. He wanted you to know the changes he is making too. But you do need to regroup.
I did something yesterday that I would like to suggest. Find a quiet place, by yourself, with pen and paper, and do a question and answer. Write the questions that enter your mind down on the paper, and answer each one truthfully as you go along, just honestly and from the heart and soul. I don't know why I did this yesterday, but the answers to my questions where inside me all along, and it made me feel a lot better.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
