OK, well, he can't see to read it now anyway. Man, he needs eye protection! I hope he is alright, but it needs to be looked at with a slit microscope.
Your H sounds a lot like my son, the Leo. He is very impetuous and does and says things without thinking. He has a very sweet side, but a very short temper.
You on the other hand, think things through and brood on them. You anger slowly and hold it for a long time. I don't know what your sign is, but you sound like me, a Cancer.
Anyway, send me the letter and I'll look at it. It is ambushing to send the cookie cake one minute and an I hate you letter the next. Your H is clearly thoughtless in how he deals with you, but you need to do better than that.
YOU are talking to Mr. Take everything personal here.........You think you have it bad being sensitive women.......look at me... Rob is right... HARD but you need to try to just let the "attacks" go. (As long as they are not physical). Picture this..... It was HOT the other day W went to store with son to pick up school clothes. I stayed home and was not going anywhere and W knew this. So I am out front working in the yard Sweating and wife pulls up with son. BOTH eating an ice cream. W just kind of stared at me like saying... "What?" "Man you guys got an Ice Cream" W says "ya I decided to stop on the way home" Now I am not comparing this to being yelled at like you have been but it is VERY easy for a "sensitive" guy to feel left out. To let this ruin my whole day thinking. I would have called her if I was the one stopping for Ice cream. But I didn't. I went inside and made me a BIG chocolate shake... I can take care of myself. You do have your children to think about Tal... As much progress as I have made I came across the C.d that had the wife and OM pictures on it, it was blank and I forgot what was on it. RIGHT when the pic’s popped up W calls. So I am looking at her w another man and talking to her............ Anyway sorry for straying. We need to keep trying for the kids. If it was not for my son I do think I would have been long gone. W has still NOT committed herself to our marriage. I ordered the book Saffie wanted me to read and W said she will "try" to read it. We have three more weekends, (well two and a half. At the end on that time I am going to tell w I need an answer. I NEED to know will she promise NOT to see anyone while we are still married. I don't think she is but I need to hear it. Tal enjoys your time with your kids. My son is ll. as much as it is a pain sometimes to go swimming or play a game with him when I have other things to do I know there isn’t much longer until he will not want to play or swing with me.. Have you asked your H about Retro? It may not help the marriage but I will tell you one thing It does Improve communication and respect for others feelings if nothing else...
Take care Tal
Oh ya Utah is East from here....
Dr LOve.
P.S you got my e-mail vent whenever
P.S.S where the pictures PICTURES ????
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Sara..OMG yes, He is a leo.. Yup.. You nailed it on the head, But I am An aries... Tried and true, that's why sometimes our fights are bad because we are both fire signs. I couldn't send the letter to you yet, because frankly its very mean and very direct. I will tone it down, it just felt better writing it all out. And of course I won't send it right now.. He did have eye protection on, his piston on the spray gun was supposed to be turned off and I guess it wasn't and shot him in the face and knocked his glasses off and he fell over.
He's going in right now.
Dr love.. you are so like me. I would have been offended if H did that with the ice cream but he would have been also.
I know I sounded mad.. well I was mad. I won't do anything in haste, but something does have to change, I guess it has to be me. Although I do feel that I always do the accomodating.
I have asked him about C, he just doesn't want to make the time. I really don't think im that important to him, as long as im at his beck and call.
Oh and sara you would be scared if I showed you the letter i wrote.. trust me.
Dr. Love... The pics are x rated and not for YOU! :D.. H is lucky he even got them, this is something that I really don't like doing, but I do it for him.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I know your right, I just don't think i Can do it. Im a very sensative person and I get on the defense really easily. On top of all the stresses we are going through right now, the one person I thought I could depend on would be him, and its just not so.
TAL, honey, it's great that you are such a caring person. The world needs people who care. However....
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
... can I continue to be held hostage by him? He doesn't care, nor does try to even be remotely sorry for what he says and does to me.
He doesn't want to change, I don't know what else to do to wake him up.
Really, TAL, I think you are being held hostage by yourself. By hanging your hopes and happiness completely on another person - ANY other person - you give up a huge part of your personal power. Don't do that - you are worth more than that. You deserve more than that.
You're focusing so much on changing HIM, tal. Put all that energy into making the positive changes in yourself instead - that's all you can ever really control.
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
I did this to myself. He's going to have to swallow hard on this one. The worst he could do is leave me. I don't care anymore.
There's a middle ground here, between him changing and the end of your marriage. Wouldn't you rather work on learning to be strong and confident yourself, instead of leaping straight to the outcome of him leaving you?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Thanks Rob. I will comment on what you said tomorrow.. but wanted to update on H's Eye.
He's in bad shape, His father called me from the Hospital(his dad is out west with him working) and it seems he burned his cornea. I was in tears I can't even be there to just be with him. This is so hard. They have him drugged up because of the pain, so I won't know anything til tomorrow.
Its late here, I need to go to bed, been crying for over an hour in worry.
Pray.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Those pictures are for her husband, not for you!!!
Not much time. I need to go dialogue with my wife but................SARA... I KNow the pics are not for me. My point was here Tal is doing something "extra" for him and HE GETS MAD????????? WTF......... Sorry Tal I know you love him but that really p!sses me off. Here I can't even get my wife to SLEEP in the same room.....GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Rob, To answer you, your right. I am being held hostage by me, by myself. Ya know i've been with him since I was 17 years old. We've been together so long its all I know. I think once S5 starts kindergarten, Im going to go to C for myself, I think I think some extra guidance. Wether he wants to join me is up to him.
Dr.Love.. Don't ever apologize. Just because I love the man doesn't be he's not a complete jerk and your right, That's what makes me made, that I do things for him and he acts like that, the letter told him so (didn't send it though)
Sara, thanks for the well wishes.
Saffie...Don't worry I love leos, I have a couple girlfriends that are, I actually gravitate towards them.. don't know why. Aries and leos are perfect mates.
***UPDATE***
Talk to H's father last night, They were done fushing his eyes, then were waiting for the eye dr. and if they were going to see him last night or today. He was doped up pain killers so I couldn't even talk to him.
I have such mixed emotions about everything. I am really sad that he is there and Im not, but glad his dad is. If his dad wasn't there, I would have hopped on a plane already. On the other hand, Im still mad at him (but feel guilty about that too because he's hurt)...I think im going to explode.
I called the hospital he was at this morning and he was discharged, so hopefully he got to see the eye dr. last night.
What a messed up day this is going to be. Im supposed to go out with my gf tonight, Im probably going to cancel it, Im in know frame of mind for it. Id be worrying about him the whole time, and I was supposed to talk to her about her "child's issues" and I just don't have the strength for it. I have too much going on here.
I'll update more when I find something out. He has a 2 hour time difference so its only 6:45 am there.
(((thank you all)))
Last edited by tiredandlost; 08/22/0812:50 PM.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
????
I can't even be there to just be with him. This is so hard. They have him drugged up because of the pain, so I won't know anything til tomorrow. 