I'm so sorry this has happened to you!!!! My thoughts & prayers are with you.
Take the others advice & don't do anything until you calm down but get your ducks in a row. He sounds mean right now so get you an extremely good lawyer. The laws in your state may be like here & if you go before the judge they might make you sell the house & split 50/50. That is what was supposed to happen here but we didn't go before the judge, only mediation & I got the house & 3 years alimony. I didn't have to pay him a dime for the house & he had to pay all attorney's fees.
Now, you have to be strong here. The first few times I went to my L's office, all I could do was cry. Ask friends & make calls. Talk to the lawyers, if they tell you it's cut & dry & you have to sell, find another lawyer. I talked to several, some were just so so & said we would just split everything (I didn't know about OW at the time) I called the L I used & he said honey, there has got to be OW. He said we will fight, he did tell me I would probably have to sell but at that time I didn't know what I was going to do. He sounded rough & tough like he would do everything to help me. I almost didn't hire him b/c I didn't want to be mean to my H, but my parents talked me into it & I'm glad I did b/c I wouldn't have gotten what I did with someone else. My L's retainer fee was 3500.00, my H's L's retainer fee was 2500.00. We of course went over & on top of all that my H had to pay over 9000.00, that didn't include the initial retainer's fees.
You have to be strong & stand up for you & your kids!
Do your homework! Make several calls. I don't know how it is there but if you call a lawyer & they talk to you whether you hire them or not, your H cannot talk to them or hire them. I believe that is every where. So, call the best ones in town!
Treese, I'm not pushing you to get this divorce, it is not fun & I hated it!!!!! But I want you to take care of yourself. Your H is not going to do that right now. Maybe later but not now & you have to do what is best for you & the kids. No, you can't get blood out of a turnip, but you can squeeze pretty hard!
