Lrt VI midlife criis gotta be patient

[craig54]

I believe that would be counter productive. Sure i could be sullen and despondent, but where does that get me. Plus, she does not want to hear that I want her back.At least not now. She only sees a happy me, a joyful me, and for the most part, that is real. Last night for some reason was just tough.We are coming up on our 20th anniversary in a few weeks, and just the thought, saddens me.

[frank_D]

Is 'sullen and despondent' how you really feel?

[craig54]

I am certainly not happy about the situation. But no, i am not sullen and despondent. About the only thing I feel when i am around my spouse sometimes is, sadness.I admit I do much better when she is not around.Like I said earlier, Last night was just tough for some reason.

[craig54]

Wife came over tonight. She said she had been working on the marriage settlement agreement, but did not understand alot of the jargon. She said she was going to seek legal aid, which is availiable through her work.

I asked her when she was going to start to help on getting the house ready to sell. She said she was hoping she could pay me a couple of hundred dollars to help with the mortgage payment after she moved into an apartment. She was hoping to do this until the housing market improved. I said I did not want that, I did not want to prolong the issue for years for the possibility of making more money on the sale of our house. I told her, if she wanted this relationship to end then it needed to end in all ways. I did not want to drag this out, this would not benefit her, the kids, or myself. If this is what she really wants, then so be it. Then i want to move on with my life.

I know just because she says all this, does not mean she will really do it. She has said many things over the last 11 months, and usually does not follow through.

I then asked her point blank, if her feelings for me have changed at all over the last 11 months. She said no. Of course I expected that answer, so I took it in stride, I said ok, and walked away.

I know this situation is in the Lord's hands, and as much as it hurts, I will continue to pray and seek the Lords will.

[craig54]

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[craig54]

My wife made a comment the other day about the guilt she feels about not seeing the kids more.She usually comes over almost everynight, but the kids usually go into their rooms. So she usually just sits around for a few minutes and then leaves. The only thing I said was, you can always see if they want to play a game of some kind.

[craig54]

Just Yellow Rose's posts about making it to the other side.It was inspirational. Just makes me want to try even harder in my situation. Because no matter how bleak my situation, the Lord is in control, and I need to keep my focus on him and not on what my wife is saying. Praise God for his blessings.

[craig54]

I have an observation. I know I am guilty of it, I see it through out the bb. We all tend to focus on our spouses and not on ourselves. I also know it is hard not to. In my case when I focus on my wife, and not on The Lord, I start to over think the situation and panic. I worry about things that are not necessarily true .

If we focus on our spouses we will absorb their attitudes and not be able to look at our situation with objective eyes.I just did it the other day when my wife said she wanted to seek legal aid to help her finish the marital settlement agreement. I immediately started feeling uneasy, just because she uttered a few words. It is such a waste of time and energy to do it.

Just an observation.

[craig54]

Very frustrating day at work.I really need a vacation. That is coming up in 3 weeks, amen. I am also frustrated with the lack of movement in situation with my wife. I know i need to be patient, but that is in short supply this week. The Lord keeps me going.

[craig54]

My wifes brother is getting married in a week. My wife will be in the wedding, and is making the cake, she is already stressed out.Lashing out at her mother, it is going to be a long week. Fortunately, I am not involved in the wedding at all. I am just attending.I am like a bobble head doll, just shaking my head yes or no.