Jak When one comes home it is as the US is the foreign nation and home is overseas. Everyone has gone on with their lives and you are still in a year ago mode.
A dirty little secret is much of the service personnel over their for their third tour volunteered. That is why we call it the suck. Recruting is not a problem and reenlistment is at an all time high. I just reupped for 6 more.
One can do so much with confidence in theirself but sooner or later one needs an affirmation. Not so much as a praise junkie but it helps when one can perform something well and feel good about it. However when your mind is of one culture and mindset and the US is totally another it is a constant battle between the ears. This is one reason Vets have very high rates of homelessness.
You may run into burning buildings and that is admirable but you always have the choice to say nope not me. Not an easy choice with regrets but over here one always has a choice and can vote with their feet. Once deployed one has to be as brave as their Commanding Officer tells them to be reguardless if it is above their level of confidence or not. Sooner or later with that intensity you are hardwired to this mindset and that mindset does not bode well in the burbs. This is common among all wars since the beginning of time.
Add the reception of what many of our Servicemen and women receive from their spouses returning home and you have a double whammy on the ole confidence factor.
This is not a troll for sympathy or saying the military must do more (what can you do?) that is a waste of time this is simply an attempt to explain a difficult set of circumstances. Prior to a deployment many servicemen and women are idealistic about mother, apple pie, and marriage and when they see what actually happens overseas and why then come back to a STBX it can rock their faith in many things including theirselves.
Sayings are good but executing those sayings against the headwinds is a challenging task indeed.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
