Hi glam and NG- I got back late last night from vacation. We had a great time. Hard to believe that was my son's last childhood summer vacation. The thought of it brings tears to my eyes. Time does go by way too fast when you aren't paying attention.
When the kids and I had just left town, my H sent me a text telling me that a friend/client had been in his office that day and that she is a big fan of us reconciling. I thought wow, he is telling people that we are working on reconciling and that is another baby step...but then I didn't hear much from my H while we were gone. A few texts and I think we briefly talked twice (I called him once). Anyway, we got back late last night and my H called early this morning to ask about the trip and some business issues. He made no mention whatsoever about us getting together but I started thinking to myself that now that I am back, we can get back on track working on things...later I got a bit of a reality check. I went to drop off book work at his office and he was out at a meeting. I sent him a text telling him I left the book work at his office and I was going to see if he wanted to do something with me tonight. I got a text back saying he had a political function to attend...and that was that. Okay so I know I am letting expectations sneek in...not that I thought we would definately do something tonight but I guess I thought that we would at least make plans for some time in the near future...especially since my birthday is next week. Last week, my H was asking what I wanted for my birthday. Oh things that popped in my mind when he asked that question...but I said nothing.
I still have no idea if my H showed up for his IC appointment. I am so curious.
So here I am...coming up on 18 months post bomb...even with the positives, it is sometimes hard to believe that I have hung in there this long...I still have frustrations and moments wondering why I am still here...moments where I am ready to give up...but I am still here and all I can do is go back to no expectations and try to find more patience.
I thought wow, he is telling people that we are working on reconciling and that is another baby step...but then I didn't hear much from my H while we were gone. A few texts and I think we briefly talked twice (I called him once). Anyway, we got back late last night and my H called early this morning to ask about the trip and some business issues. He made no mention whatsoever about us getting together but I started thinking to myself that now that I am back, we can get back on track working on things...later I got a bit of a reality check. I went to drop off book work at his office and he was out at a meeting. I sent him a text telling him I left the book work at his office and I was going to see if he wanted to do something with me tonight. I got a text back saying he had a political function to attend...and that was that. Okay so I know I am letting expectations sneek in...not that I thought we would definately do something tonight but I guess I thought that we would at least make plans for some time in the near future...especially since my birthday is next week. Last week, my H was asking what I wanted for my birthday. Oh things that popped in my mind when he asked that question...but I said nothing.