Time is on your side! The A will falter, heck it already has! The thrill will die, all of the little things that drive people crazy about each other will begin to come out, pretty soon... not so much fun anymore.
If you have an attitude of defeat it will show through your actions. If you have an attitude of confidence that will show also. Which do you want to display? I understand how difficult it is. This is why the seasoned DB'r says - work on yourself. Allow yourself to give your H all the time he needs. The only time you need to portray confidence is when you see him which in the big picture is a very short time frame. Build a positive attitude about YOU and what you are wanting to accomplish. He will see it, I guarantee it!!
The other side of this is all of the emotion you are feeling. You should feel this, it is normal. It hurts, it sucks, but it is normal!! Allow yourself the emotions. The only time you need to bottle them is when he is around. There is a site that calls this "charging nuetral", similar to acting As If. This is the place to start. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perky and happy right off the bat. Go for nuetral, not happy, not sad. As your the confidence in yourself builds, bring the happy up a notch. The key is not too much too fast. Make the attitude yours, own it. Develop the confidence in your own way, on your own time frame. It can be done, I've done it.
Bring your emotions here, let them out, we'll walk with you and support you the entire way.
