Neil, sweetie, it sounds to me like you are trying to get her to recognize your hurt feelings ? Are you hurt that she changed the ring tone ? or hurt that maybe someone else has it now ?

You can see from her response, that right now, she either can't or won't acknowledge your pain. To me, it sounds like she can't.

If it were me, I'd try to acknowledge my own pain, (quietly in my head) & then try not to look to her as a source of comfort right now. If she does, then great, if you have no expectation, & she doesn't, then your disappointment is minimal.

take care

M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.