I was curious about this ... "So the next element of my DBing is to surprise H a little and deliver a bit more energy to him in the way I used to when we first started seeing each other. I have to try being peeved about something and see what happens." can you explain taht a bit more, I didnt really understand! When you said you had to deliver a bit more energy, I thought you meant pizzaz or being up or happy or chatty, but sounds like she was suggesting you moan about something??? Is that just about being more real with him? Interesting point as so far alot of your communications are very polite.
Its great he initiated contact and was keen to meet and go for a picnic, which lets face it, is the more romantic option, so thats positive too. The fact that he always discusses work with you makes me feel that he respects you a lot, that he values your opinions and advice and knows you are his equal, professsionally, intellectually. My ex talks to me always about work too and I feel sure that there isnt anyone else really he discusses work projects with. Its funnt as he says things like "remember that report I had to write for..." and I say, oh yes, and on it goes like that, except, its a report hes wworked on SINCE he left me, yet I am still up to date on his work ! I am sure its the same for you..funny, you are in the loop and up to date and aware of his work life and successes/stresses, but have limited information about his home life/emotional state.
Anyway, just an observation, but at least that way you do retain a connection with him on some level. It makes me wonder whether or not he respects the aub the same way. Although you never said if she is at a similiar level, professionally to you and your H or not.
Do you think you might apply for a job elsewhere then, or not?
