I'm back after a long absence

[123snap]

just back from my counseling session, by myself this one was. we talked about what happened, she gave me permission essentially to be sad, said it was expected and that I can't beat myself up about it right now, she said she is confident that I can get to the okay spot regardless. she also thinks h has a lot of things he needs to deal with either way, I hope he does either way so he can be happy in the long run, either way. she said there is always hope, and so I will retain that and keep working on what i have control over and try and let the rest slide