btw, you don't need to "let her have it" when she complains about finances, but nor do you have to sympathize. Just lay a TRUTH DART. Something like "I agree -- this is going to be hard on all of us." or "There's no question that your decision to have an affair is going to hurt us BOTH financially."
The important thing is not to rescue her from the consequences of her infidelity. "This is your mess; YOU get to clean it up" should be your mantra.
