My W noticed that I lost weight and started really keeping up on my appearance, when she lived at home she use to touch my face and say how nice it was and how she wished I had started doing that a year ago. She also said that it was unfair that now I loose all the weight when she's leaving.
She recognized that I had become a more considerate lover when we were still ML (none now) and she has recognised me for giving up alchohol.
On some level I think it requires time for the changes to sink in. I also think that once the novelty wears off if the WAW is still in the fog it takes more changes. I don't know right now what to work on. I'm still dealing with things. So I have to focus on being a good dad and GAL. I feel busy all the time so at least that is working. I think that's why most of the hurt has gone away and I'm just left with disapointment and stubborn resolve.
As for the OM, I totaly agree. It's just like any new R where the OP can do no wrong and the excitement is too much to resist.
Since my W has moved out and is enjoying an almost single life I think she is loving it. She loves the freedom, her roomates, her space. She does I think miss the kids a bit and feels guilty some but overall She has not alot of motivation to change things. I was forced to be a grounding force somewhat with respect to the kids and our crumbling finances. Let me tell you it was a real challenge talking to her about finances when it would bum her out and take the focus off of her super fun life. I avoided it when possible and did the best I could when it needed to happen. In the end perhaps under the serface she was indeed motivated as she now has a temp job for a while and just texted me that she has a bartending gig (her other new thing) next week.
Beyond that our interactions are friendly. In fact I've been working on keeping the interactions and conversations down to a bare minimum and sticking to LRT. Old habits die hard though so we'll see how it goes. I want to give it some time. (I still sometimes get a strong urge to contact her though)
It was hard at first because I had difficulty not acting cold and distant while doing the LRT. I'm getting better.
Me:34 W:31 d's 5 & 10 M: 5 years, T: 8, Bomb1 3/8/08,#2:3/28/08 Asked 4 D:4/19/08, discovered PA 5/8/08,W moved out 6/30/08 W pregnant by OM: 2/17/08
