I have to go down on the plant floor to look at a printer that is jamming. Because the other guy couldn't figure it out. After I gave him the part that would repair it.
I'm looking at the dang thing. It is having a fit. Some messed up logic condition. Jamming on Tray 2. Take out tray 2 and allow it to print from Tray 3. Works. Turn off. Put in tray 2. Perform printer maintenance.
Printer must have jammed at the exact moment the printer was triggered for printer maintenance.
Now during this. The radio is right by the printer.
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!
OK, that is my song to her. She even said it when she was WAW@home. I would watch U2 concerts and everytime that song came on, she would say that is your song to me.
I would say yes.
Do you know how many times I went home and from work, and cried listening to that song?
Well it didn't make me cry today. I just gave me a constant reminder of her.
Then I'm sitting her reading posts, studing some other theology things.
I get a text from her. Are you picking the kids up today from moms.
I go and pick up the kids. I ask them if their Mother came and saw them today. They said no. MIL chimes in and says she called them three times. I said I don't care Mother this is not typical behavior of you daughter. She wouldn't go without seeing them for the day. Never ever.
She almost cries.
I played with my God daughter. She is such a joy. Walking now.
I also found a very nice present for SIL she collects nativities. This one was a rock that was carved nativity scene made by Currah. They were raving over it.
I also go to talk to Dad. We had some small talk. I also said you know Dad what makes me feel better is the fact that you have (wifename) and my wedding picture on your piano.
I said Dad I need a favor from you. When the kids are down her and staying over have them call me at 10 or something. Because I'm not initiating contact with your daughter. She doesn't want to talk to me, so I'm not going to call her. She can hit a brick wall. I'm tired of getting my feeling hurt wondering where my kids are. Please have them call me if she isn't here and the kids are staying over. I said I'm not contacting her, she doesn't even go to Church anymore.
He didn't say he would. He also didn't say anything about her not going to Church. He was my sponsor when I got confirmed. Why in the heck is this not settling in with him.
Yes I know blood thicker than water. Right, I don't know what the heck she said to them to make me look like the evil one.
We had some other small talk because he changed the subject. I followed. He wanted me to eat, but I'm not hungry and said I was going home to make steaks.
I thought it was enough time of the kids playing, and me acting like a fifth wheel. I also got this one chimed in some how.
I said Dad that reminds me of Proverbs 21:19 It is better to be in the wilderness then to be with a quarellsome and vexatious wife.
Then she started going on and on about son's twitch. A thousand questions. Did you look it up on the Internet.
I asked her about school for the kids. She said that the kids are going to school where they always go to school. I said oh. I you live right across the street from the other town's elementry school.
She starts spazzing out. Do you think I'm going to send them to that school. They have your address. You are so a$$ine. I said please stop it.
She hangs up on me.
I wait until she picks up the kids.
I tell her I do not appreciate the language, or the way I am treated. I was just trying to make conversation with you.
She says... Well I'm tired, and I was trying to wash dishes. Blah balh..
I said it doesn't matter (wife's name). There is no reason to treat me this way. Perhaps you were a$$ine asking a thousand questions about the twitch.
Starts going crazy again. It has to do with our son's health. (I'm thinking, then you should have left a message)
I said please it is a twitch and I told you it is no big deal.
I tell her to have a nice night.
She says.. Yeah right, the kids will most likely be up until 2. I said don't let them.
I'm losing my mind with this woman. The wilderness. It is a good place to be.
Today is not good. As you can tell from the post. I was still up. Didn't sleep well. Now I just can't stop contemplating what I'm going to do.
I am so sick and tired of her treating me so poorly. All I can do is think, why?
She left. She is doing what she wants and she still has to come back and throw daggers. I can kill her with kindness, but my feelings just get extremely hurt.
I keep telling her that I do not deserve to be yelled at, and hung up on.
Well maybe it was good that I said; I can understand how you felt I was being a$$ine about the school issue.
The bad part I asked the question. Don't you think you were being a$$ine about the tick issue?
I'm really not sure how much of the verbal abuse I can take.
Here is the good thing. She did spout off and say. The kids are still under your address.
There is no way she can legally get me for child support. The kids will be under my address and attend our school. Where she lives there is an elementry school within throwing distance in a different school district.
She so screwed herself, by not listening to me. I told her to get a residence close to her parents that way, her sister and her mother could help her with the school issue.
Ok, so how do you stop someone from constantly verbally abusing you? You would think that after three months of being seperated that there would be some kind of improvement from her in this area.
I in fact said the wrong thing to her, and triggered something.
Here is the deal. The pig girl is also a verbal abuser. Now my wife has a teacher, or always had a teacher, or they teach each other.
It's funny the pig girl stated to me one time that she was looking for a nice guy. What nice guy is going to put up with her mouth.
I think I'm a nice guy. Why should I put up with my wife's mouth? Now I'm thinking why should I have to put up with the seperated wife's mouth.
A different form of limbo. Will I have to put up with divorced wife's mouth.
This is so frustrating, and all I want is for the woman to come home. Verbally abuse me, but at least love me somewhat.
I had a text from her yesterday. Did I receive school papers in the mail. I waited a half hour and texted no.
End of conversation.
I had some friends over last night. We watched some of the NIN concert in HD and surround sound.
The kid who I refer to as my little brother I never had and he shall be known as J. He brought over his girlfriend. He is 18 and she is going to be 16. She is a really sweet girl, but I think she is only going to hurt him.
Her parents are divorced. She told me that her mother has been married four more times already.
She also met J through somewhat of a cheat, blind date thing. J got her number from a friend and texted her, and they started talking. She had a boyfriend at the time. Then her and J went on a double blind date and then they started going out, and have been together for 8 months.
What I find troubling is that the girls cell phone kept getting texts while she was there. She finally confessed that it was a male neighbor, but she would always hurry up and grab her phone so that J wouldn't be able to see what was being said. The concern is that she is going steady with J, but still flirting with other guys right in front of his face.
I got to tell her some crazy stories about my wife that J wanted me to tell her. Thing is J was at my house a lot. He helped me a great deal with the addition, getting firewood, and picking up supplies at the home center. We also went golfing, hunting, and shooting together. I would have adopted this kid.
My wife would always say you would rather be with J then your own kids. Thing is when I was with J I wasn't drinking. We were working. If we were not working and if we went golfing, there are plenty of times we took the kids or at least one of them that wanted to go.
Yes my daughter and son went par 3 golfing at a young age on a semi big course. The have a hole that is over 200 yards.
Well my other friend also came over because J called him. He was in a pretty bad mood. I was talking about my wife, and we were bringing up stories. He was giving me crap about how he tried to tell me I drank too much, because my wife asked him too. Then he would drink with me.
Then I had a flashback of snapping when she was home. I was walking down the steps to our basement screaming things back at her. I don't rememeber what it was about, but I remember just pretty telling my wife to STFU and get off my A$$.
Like I said she was constantly on my a$$ about everything. Both of my friends even said that again last night.
Well J and his girlfriend left. Then me and other friend starting talking. He was really giving me the business. He had been drinking all afternoon. I guess he said he was sick of me always giving him the business so he was just giving it back to me. I said well I'm not in the right frame of mind to hear hurtful things, but go ahead.
The guy is like a brother to me. He also helped me out a ton with the addition. He would never say no to anything if I called him and needed help.
He hung out at my house a lot. Him and my wife were also friends. He would call her during the day while I was at work and ask her for womanly advice about some girl he was chasing.
Then the conversation go ugly. Because when she picked up the kids the other night. I saw her go up to him and talk to him. I said well what did she say. She asked what kind of a mood I was in. He said that I was fine.
I said wrong answer. I'm not fine. You should have said go and talk to him about how he is feeling. I then asked him if she talks to him. He said that she texted him a few times during the summer, because my kids missed him. I said you see that is the same crap my cousin did. He wasn't being truthful with her about me or anything, and playing both sides of the fence. Trying to be friends to both of us. Then he got mad and left.
I called him and we talked on the phone for 40 minutes. Turns out he is depressed again. He has no interest in anything. He doesn't want to finish school. He doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. His family is driving him nuts. He feels as though he never accomplished anything. He just wanted to leave his job, but he didn't know what he wanted to do. He doesn't want to dump his problems on me because I have enough of my own.
I tell him that isn't a problem. I said you are like a brother to me. Your problems I can listen. I'm hear for you. I said by everything you just said and some other things that you said earlier you are helping me understand her point of view. I think you both are in some form of depression. I'm not a doctor, but you are pretty much saying the same things she has said. I told him to see a doctor. Then he said what good will that do because he doesn't have health insurance. I said you can go to the clinic. He said he doesn't want too.
We also talked about God. He doesn't believe in any of it. I remember when he would say that in front of my wife. She would give him the riot act. Bible thumping, but no bible versus. She would punch him in the arm serveral times and say there is a God, there is a God, and don't come in my house and say that there isn't.
I said brother I know where you are coming from with that too. I explained to him that since I was a young child I always knew there was a God. This was revealed to me by grace. I said maybe it has not been revealed to you.
Then I told him the story about the pagan woman who came to Christ and asked Christ to heal her daughter from a demon. Christ ignored her. She called out even the dogs get scraps from the masters table. Christ stated that by your faith you have been redeemed, and her daughter was healed and freed from the demon within an hour.
Maybe I planted a little seed with him. But it also put something else into prespective and I told him this. I said brother. My wife is so staunchly Catholic, but she wants a divorce. Now there is no divorce in the Catholic church. So how can she say she is so Godly and go through with this. I mean we are in the seperation stage. I said she doens't even go to Church anymore. She doesn't even talk to her sister, and she doesn't talk to her good friend.
I also said I'm sorry I'm trying to live through you to communicate with my wife, because everything is a scrap. If she talks to you and asks you how I'm doing, you need to tell her to talk to me. If you don't feel comfortable because she gets mad at you saying the things like he misses you, he is sad and depressed, all he thiks about is the kids. Then say nothing to her. I think a better answer would be to just talk to him about it and stop being so mean to him.
I also said to him. I'm sorry you left mad. I'm sorry she is all I talk about. I will try and be a better friend to you.
Well then I texted her good night, and she replied good night.
The thing that gets my goat is nothing is helping. I had two men in her life that were close to me and they played both sides of the fence. Why?
I wait almost a half an hour and respond back. As you wish
I go and get the kids at five, and I hang out for a little while. Kids were playing with their cousin. I get small talk from MIL and FIL. They act like nothing is wrong.
Daughter says she wants to stay over grandparents. Son wants to come with me. I don't bother asking. MIL has a big smile on her face. I said (daughter name) you are not helping me out. She asks why? I said why do you think why? She says because you want to spend time with me.
I said I'm very impressed you are able to answer the question. I tell her she can stay with her grandmother. I was thinking should I call my wife and confirm this. Was this part of wife's plan? I don't bother.
I tell daughter, call me before you go to bed. Kiss her and tell her I love her. I also told FIL the day before to have them call me.
When I get home the letters had come from the school. I open them and find out who the teachers will be. I call the wife immediately and tell her. She is preplexed that son didn't get the teacher she thought he would. She already knew daughter was getting a certain teacher because the teacher told her. It would have been nice if she would have communicated this with me. She asked if I picked up the kids. I told her daughter stayed down her moms. She asked why? I said she wanted to stay and I thought you told her she could. She asks if son wants picked up after work, and I said yes. I then just ended the conversation with Ok, I'll talk to you later.
Son and I play video games. First I take a nap. Then I get up and said sorry son, I'm just so tired. I will make it up to you. How about I make you dumplins. He loves dumplins. During the dumplin making I help him with some part of the game he was having trouble with.
Then we play Sid Meirs Pirates.
She comes and picks him up after work. She is on the phone talking to daughter. She was in a hurry and all she said to me was good bye. Daughter is explaing that she went for a long bike ride with her grand father. My wife says I'm going to kill my dad for letting her ride where they rode too.
I said tell daughter thanks for calling me. She said daughter said opps. Then wife says, that's why I always call down there.
I'm thinking, so you are mother of the year.
I went in the house. I tried to cry, but it wouldn't come out.
The first thing you need to do is detach. You cannot control your w only yourself. You have to be the adult. Do not get upset when your d wants to stay with her grandparents. Your children are also hurting. They do not know how to express how they are feeling. Imagine how confused they must be. Your remarks to them about making things harder for you or getting offended because your d does not call, do not help. Your children need you even from a distance. Be there for them. They need to know that they can come to you. Show them unconditional love. If you want your w back then show her unconditional love.
You have received a lot of great advice from a lot of wonderful people on this board. Please listen to them.
However I believe I am working it properly with the kids. I told them to call me. I tell them to call me all the time. She can't throw it in my face that I don't want to be with them. She has said this stuff in the past. You would rather hang out with J then be with your own kids.
So I'm saying this stuff in front of my wife. I'm not calling the wifes phone. I do not bother with her. On days I don't have the kids and, she wants to be an idiot, I tell them to call me but they don't.
I also told her parents to have the kids call me. Because my wife told me not to call down her parents house. So now her parents have failed me on this little request. Yes, I know my children will forget.
Quote:
Do not get upset when your d wants to stay with her grandparents
I'm not upset. It causes anxiety, and MIL is playing her role. Didn't I say she had a big smile on her face when my daughter said she was staying over. My MIL manipulates my children to stay with her. I seen her do it right in front of my eyes. She looked at my son in the eyes and said didn't you tell grandma that you wanted to stay with me. Then he got all sad. She brandished him with a finger and made him admit what he may have said an hour before. He is six. Then when he saw me, he saw fun disney dad. My daughter has only stayed over our house for one night since wife left. However daughters has stayed over multiple nights at in laws.
It only proves again that my wife doesn't want to be a mother. She doesn't want to be a wife.
My son even said to me last night that he wanted to stay with me. I told him no. Because I needed sleep tonight. If he stays with me he kicks me all night. Because he will not sleep in his own bed. Then he even said to me, that he doesn't want to be around his mother because he annoys her. The children annoy her now. She only had my son last night. She didn't see daughter in a 24 hour period. She did it last week didn't see her daughter for two days. This is not typical behavior of my wife. My wife was an overprotective mother who wouldn't leave the childrens side for less then five minutes. Constant eye on them. She will not even allow them to play outside and they must be in direct view.
Even if daughter was on the ball field. My wife would ask me if I could see her.
I am detaching. She is gone. She isn't coming back. I don't want her to come back. Because she can not act the way she did and expect me to take it. Now she has broken the ultimate in loyalty with me. She needs to grow up and be a woman.
That may never happen.
I am listening to the people on this board.
I think I found something that works. I texting my son pirate phrases, and he is having her text back.
Yo ho! 15 men and a deadmens chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
Quote:
You have received a lot of great advice from a lot of wonderful
No I have received advice. A lot of it isn't great, some of it is. No, sorry there has been a few wonderful people, others have not been wonderful.
Yes insolence. I'm a Pirate! So sorry, pleased to meet your acquintance. I would surely acquiesce ye proper advice.
Wife texted me this afternoon and said the kids will get dropped off at my house at 8. I asked how the boy was. She didn't text back. So I text him, tell him yer a scurvy bilge rat, Ya mangy coakroach. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. She text back. He thinks ur weird he said.
I text. Landlubber. Ye be no pirate, matey. Keep your eyes on the mother load.
She text. His gf called from school and he wants to call her at ur house. Number.
I text: His buxsome beauty wishes to dance at ye ball, aye?
Then nothing...
Sad...
ur house How many times do I need to tell her our house?
She didn't forget the O either. Because she always uses the text ur. ur picking up the kids. Which I really think meant are you? and not your.
Oh whatever, overanalyze everything looking for a clue. There isn't any...
I thought talking like a pirate with son, was something that was working.
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive” - Sir Walter Scott
Last night was a tornado that I was able to turn upside down and make it disappear.
Who do I have to thank? All of you.
She came in the house last night after work about 11:15. The kids were in my bed watching, Sinbad. Just taking this pirate thing a little far.
Daughter jumps up as soon as she hears her come in. Because mommy is such a rock star. Son says he wants to stay with me. She tells him no because she doesn't get enough time with the kids. I'm thinking that is your decision.
My son starts spazzing out on her. I don't want to go with you I want to stay with daddy. I'm thinking wow this is mess. I take son and hold him and he is balling histerical. She walks over to us on the bed and says, he is coming with me, and tries to grab him away from me. She says I'm tired and I just want to go home. I'm thinking you are home. She said to him. Son I forgot to tell you your invention ice cream is in the car. Space invaders.
I said please stop. I will convince him to go with you. Just give me a few minutes. She walks away and starts screaming. He is coming with me. Son screams back while crying. I'm staying with Daddy, I want to be with daddy. She says all you want to do is watch that dumb movie with him. I ask her to please lower her tone and give me a few minutes.
I console my son. I hold him and talk with him. I said, Daddy and Mommy love you so much. You can stay with Daddy but Mommy wants you to be with her. He says I don't want to stay with her. I said I understand, because you told me that you were having problems sleeping. Your back was hurting, and other things. I said Mommy wants to sleep in tomorrow and it would be better if I didn't have to drop you off so early in the morning. Lets get your movie and I'll walk you out. I said you can stay with me all weekend, and it will just be me and you. The girls can go do girl things.
As I'm walking him out. I tell him. Buddy I know you are only six, but when you are at mommy's place you are the man of the house. That is something special. I get him more calmed down. I tell him I understand you don't want to leave, I turn around and say this is your house, and I can see why you wouldn't want to leave it.
I put him in his car seat. I buckle him in. I kiss him and rub his legs. I look at wife. It appears as if she was crying.
I ask her to give me a minute to walk around and give daughter a kiss good night.
I walk around and give daughter a kiss. I tell the kids to be good. Listen to mommy the first time everytime. My wife says yeah right. I said son remember your the man of the house down there. Big smile. My wife says would you like some ice cream, I have some mint chocalate chip.
I walk to my wifes window. It looks like she was crying or at least she welled up. I said, ice cream would be good. J brought over his girlfriend and they ate the last of the chocolate. She hands me the ice cream. She says was that ice cream from the party, and was it still good. I said well she didn't complain about it and ate it.
Then she said that our mutal friend A stopped by to see her. I said of F him. She was like what? I said never mind.
She asks if I'm going to pick up the kids from her moms tomorrow and I tell her yes.
She says ok good night. She starts to pull away. The mirror from the explorer almost hits me, and I said whoah. Hold on I'm in my bare feet and standing in rocks. Let me get my bearing.
I step away and walk to the front of the car. I give the kids the fist pump in the air. Be strong!
She drives away, slowly.
Now I'm rather p|ssed at my friend A. One because the night before I got into with him how he has made certain things in my situation worse. I asked to repair those things. One of the hot buttons I had with him was one time my wife accussed me of looking at porn. I said I don't look at porn. My friend A would always laugh and say yeah right he looks at it all the time. I would always say no I don't you F'r and don't say that sh|t to her because she doesn't think you are joking.
I also talked to him about other things that were messed up. For one him and I would drink together. He would always come over my house and just hang out. He helped a great deal with the addition. My kids absolutely love him.
One of my chief arguments with him is he plays both sides of the fence with her. I know you don't want to take sides A, but you are hurting the situation. He siad everytime she asks about you and I try to tell her that you are hurting, missing her, and depressed. She gets mad at me and asks me not to tell her anything. Other times I have tried to tell her that when we would go out to eat at the bars that all I did was eat, have a couple of beers and came right home. Nothing ever happened. She would scream at him and say I don't want to hear it. So he didn't know what to do.
Then last night I did tell him to just stay away from her then, or if you do interact with her and she asks how I'm doing or what mood I'm in. Say talk to him about it. So why did he go behind my back last night and show up at the ice cream store.
Trying to help, or he really just in love with my wife. Like I said he would call her while I was at work and ask her for womanly advice about girls he was chasing.
I called him, because I was pissed. I got his voice mail. I said cuz, what's up give me a call.
Well here is the deal. I went to the club and took my guitar. I sat on the couches there and played. I had about five people come up to me and request something. One guy came over and said I thought the jukebox was on.
I texted her. Good night, Is he alight. She text back. Yes.
(THEN I GET STUPID) I text. Cool, Good night. I love you.
Nothing from her. But five minutes later I get another Yes.
I text Yes to what. She text, He is fine.
The harp... The guitar is driving out misery. I played one of my orginal songs. No signing, just a flat out super jam. I was shaking, like something was released from my soul.
Bad thing is I stayed out too late. I'm not tired, and only got about five hours of sleep.
Ok before some of you people start smaking me on the head. Consider this. This is a dynamic with the kids. Son doesn't want to be with her and wants to be with me. That is killing her. I know this because we were watched her cousins kid all the time. She would always be so sad for our little cousin when he would cry for her not to leave him. She said it is so sad how he just wants to be with her and she wants nothing to do with him.
Wow, history repeating itself in her. But son doesn't want her, he wants me.
