Frank, I think I read a while back that your W said she was going to date. It does not matter now if she currently has a boyfriend. Your logic is correct - why did she not deny it when you told her that if she is dating then she needs to move out.
She is telling D17 things about your marital dispute that should not be said. It sure seems that she is trying to alienate them and turn them against you. You on the other hand did the right thing in not telling D17 about the past affair. Shelter them from this as much as possible.
I worry that your D17 is feeling responsible now for the separation. You probably need to reassure her again several times that she did not influence your decision.
W: GM, I am planning on picking up D13 at 12:45 to reg 4 school today and then taking D17 to look at her senior pics
Me: Great! Thank you for handling those things, have a good time wit the girls.
W: D13 is going to spend sat night at patricia's, she will pick up D13 sat am i will bring her back in the eve on sunday
Me: Yes, D13 told me. Thanks
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Her friend lives an hour away. I didn't offer to give her the Prius to save gas money. She'll need to ask for that.
On the suggestion of another poster I got the book "No more Mr. Nice Guy". I like it a lot. One of the things it pushes is no more approval seeking. I have been seeking W's approval for way too long.
The cost of living is high in socialist run southern California.
That is an accurate description of California. Take from the productive people and give to the non productive people.
You must be referring to Chrysler, Bear Sterns, Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac, etc., right? Or are you referring to the massive list of corporate-welfare recepients - whose tab you, I, our kids, their kids, their kids, and their kids - are going to have to pick up?
Frank..stay strong...you are doing the right thing.
KerryK...I'm reading your stuff too. Keep it coming as you come across it.
Frank...you WILL be OK. The person to blame here for getting your spirit broken...would be YOU. Therefore...there is no guilt involved.....you are not throwing her out....you are stopping the hurt and trying to find peace again in your life.
Boundaries DO need to be set.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Sorry, have to gloat. W just called a few minutes ago. She locked the keys in the minivan (never happened before in 22 years) and called D17, to get the second set of keys from me, so D17 could drive the Prius to where she is and let her in the minivan.
When D17 came back and gave me the keys I reminded her that if she was going anywhere with mom she was welcome to take the Prius and drive if she wanted to. She was glad to hear that.
Now, you could say W was 'flustered' or something and got confused since she has driven the Prius most of the time and it's not possible to lock your keys inside the car (they are electronic and the car senses when the key is 'inside' vs 'outside' and won't lock the door if it thinks the key is inside.)
But we've had it 2 years and she's driven both cars often. Sorry, I just think this is funny, like she's 'falling apart' without her family.
