It is horrible just not knowing. I may even be able to forgive the A, but the lies and her trying to make me feel like I am a psycho for even thinking that she is having an A is even worse and more damaging. It’s almost a form of abuse, in my opinion, because she is making me doubt my own sanity while she is the one breaking up our M and doing something immoral.
Sliver,
I can ABSOLUTELY relate to this. It got to the point with my wife's affair, last summer, where we were two months into it, and I had pretty much reached the point that you are describing: it was the DECEIT that was making me livid. That and the fact that she was accusing ME of being "paranoid" to our daughters and her parents, and so I finally re-confronted her on it, and told her no matter WHAT she decided to do regarding our marriage and the OM, that I DEMANDED that she tell the truth to our adult daughters and her own parents, and stop making ME look like the bad guy.
I had evidence, and I threatened to air it, and I gave her exactly five minutes to decide.
She came clean, and her affair was over within the month.
