Since the anti-bomb I had struggled with things like “Well do we talk about this, resolve our issues”, “Do we go to counseling”, etc……”what are we supposed to do now”. I decided that talking always seemed to get me in more trouble then actually fixing things. I decided to continue with what had brought me back into my W’s heart….actions. I decided I didn’t need to hear anything from my W, I just needed to see it. I really started to notice how I was becoming a priority and she was doing little acts of kindness. I continued down the same approach. I also truly forgave my W for the things I felt she had done that hurt me. I put them in the past and forgave myself for my errors. I didn’t see any need to “hash” things out, because I saw it only leading to an ill-fated R talk that would likely eventually lead to a blame game and back to square one.
Some of the actions I have seen is a desire to nest together. That has varied from buying another house together to fixing up the one we are in now. We are also continuing where we left off with regards to having another child (or possibly twins again!) and plan on going in for the IVF on her next cycle.
I actually, feel this sep was a blessing. If it wasn’t for this I wouldn’t have found this sight, I wouldn’t have met some wonderful people. I credit the sep and DB in giving me the strength to regain my self again…..something I had lost several years ago (or as some would more affectionately state as growing my balls back), and with truly knowing what it means to be a H and best friend. I also continue to consciously use many of the tools I learned from this process (PMA, GAL, listening, actions over words, act as if) on a daily basis.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
