Dear Love: I am so sorry you are hurting so much. I know this is a terrible time, and it is hard when the IL's just support the WAS and don't remember that there is a family behind all of this!
I find that in the moments when I feel this low, praying really helps. I pray for everything these days, even when it is just me having a rough day and praying for the strength to get through it.
It is horrible when you are stuck in that state of limbo and you don't know which way to turn. I am not a preachy Christian or anything like that, but I will tell you listen to that little voice...I really believe it is God's voice, and it won't steer you wrong.
(((Love))) Sometimes, you just gotta cry...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..