[gForce]

You still love him. No shame in that. But I have to agree it seems to me that he is manipulating you emotionally. Cake eating. I would want him to show you he is serious about continuing a R with you, and actions to show he is willing to work with you, before continuing a physical R that you say is confusing you at this point. Retrouvaille sounds like a good idea as a start in the right direction. Just my $0.02.