Any advice for navigating this time period? My H still lives here in a separate room, does family things with me and D, but has OOW -- his second. He's never met her and she lives across the country, but they talk by cell and online.
I believe things are not that great between them now... I'm worried about navigating this wave; I don't want him to find yet another OOW.
A little background: The bomb dropped in June when I found correspondence between him and first OOW... He did meet her and was honest with me about it ( the bomb was basically the classic ILYBINILWY speech), assured me "nothing happened" with her, that they were "just friends," that it wasn't what I thought, but I don't know what to believe, obviously. About a month after I found out, apparently they "broke up" or whatever you want to call it. Apparently he was heart broken. (How do I know this? I snooped...)
I realized after snooping, in hindsight, when it occurred and what my H's mood was like at the time. For me, this time was early in DB and we were not getting along that great, I was having emotional waves and clearly I wasn't that "attractive" during that time period.
Soon after, another needy OOW swooped him up, and this one fed into his emotional mess even more than the first woman did. So he fell, hook, line and sinker, for her neediness. She would send him e-mails about being "soulmates" and send him daily "kisses" and call herself his "Mrs." and "bride" and yada yada yada. And, oh yeah, she's married, unhappily.
I sense things are not right with him right now, and I'm suspecting something is going sour with OOW. But I also don't feel my H connecting to me as well. Sure, we get along, friendly (thanks to DB) but we spend almost no time together without D as a buffer.
After educating myself about DB and affairs and trying to be patient through all of this, I thought (and hoped) that when the OOW disappeared that I might have a chance in his heart again.
Now I'm not so sure. So any advice on how to navigate these waters? I don't want to make a wrong move at such a crucial time -- I want to show him the wonderful person that I am, that I am patient and kind, that I am worth staying married to and that I can make him happy.
I know DB is the number one answer, and I'm trying so very hard to continue these efforts and work on me -- I'm just worried that H is so blind he won't see it and not sure if there's any words of wisdom from the veterans here.
Anyone?
M 39 H 34 D 6 M almost 8 years T 11 years Bomb: 6/5/08
