Wow, this maybe the first post by FG that I really liked . And I actually could read it in English... Miracles never seize to happen... Stella, I agree with my Guru. 100% with what he says.
Good luck tomorrow. Clear your head, no assumptions. Love K
It's her. I didn't initiate the R talk, but H was on the comp when I walked into the room and was writing an e-mail. He didn't try to hide it from me, so I've read: Dearest OW and so on. Love, STBX.
Of course, at that point I had to ask. H told me that about two weeks ago he had a "moment of clarity", it's Spider forever. Guys, you should be proud of me! I am fine. H is going to take care of me, our D, whatever. He realized there is no way back. He still loves me, though. That's about it. I don't even know if I still want him...
Forrest, thank you for your yesterday's post!!!
I'll start a new thread in Separated, I guess.
(((Hugs))) to all...
Last edited by stella_k; 08/20/0802:39 PM.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I am sorry!!!! You sound so strong though. I am so proud of the way you have handled it. Your H is still in a fog. His "moment of clarity" is not all that clear. I really liked FG's post and can apply it to my own sitch. Stella, you are in my prayers.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I did not expect that...I agree with Addie though. He's still in a fog. I assume you will carry on with your plan to take D to college and leave H to pack up everything?
The only thing I can think of clearly is now YOU get to be the OW.
You've come a long way and we are all so very proud of you!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I agree with Addie and Jen. You handled that magnificently, and H is still confused- cycling. He still loves you but he has clarity on wanting the spider? WTF?!! That's not clarity, it's a turbid quagmire.
Sure, he chose her---until he got to you. In a week, he will change his mind again. Sweetie, I love you dearly, but your H is a weak man easily swayed. Time to pull out all the stops!
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I'm not as strong today as I was yesterday, but I' still ok. Yesterday we spoke a bit about "life after D", H didn't want to speak about D, I asked him who's going to take pets, H said we can take turns, anyway we're going to work it out. At first he intended to sleeop on the sofa but then he came to our bed and the result was sleepless night for me, I just kept watching him in his sleep, wondering I'm going to forget him and move on EVER. Scary thought, isn't it? I got up very early and went for a swim. Stayed there as long as I could, I really didn't feel like going home. When I finally got back, he was talking to D17 about her college and he was a bit of an alien, rather unpleasant, unlike yesterday, when he got teary eyes for a moment (when I told him that it's going to be hard for me to live in the same town as him). I nearly fainted when I got home because of the hit (awfully hot here!), lack of sleep and an AD pill I've taken. H half carried me into our bedroom and was fussing around until I got better. I hate such moments and H seems to enjoy them - sometimes I think he missed his real calling, he'd make a wonderful male nurse!
Quote:
I assume you will carry on with your plan to take D to college and leave H to pack up everything?
I'm going through with my plan, Jen.
I'm trying hard to let go and detach but H doesn't make it easier for me. Yesterday he's told me: when you walked through the door I realized i've forgotten how beautiful you are (in 2 months!!! What's wrong with his memory?!). Later in bed he tried to hug me and I've told him to move away. I'm sure he didn't try to initiate though, just being NICE, LOL.
H is here and I have to go,
love you my friends, talk to you later, ((((((hugs))))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
. And I actually could read it in English... Miracles never seize to happen...