To me it sounds as if your wife is feeling quite isolated right now (admittedly a lot is of her own making) but you want to encourage her ties to her family. They will be what keeps her grounded. My advice to you would be to keep away from her family and not get involved too much. If you do see them try to respect her and your privacy (which you have been doing a great job with until now it sounds like). If someone is feeling isolated often they will lash out, in a way it is a compliment that she feels relaxed enough with you to be angry but at the same time you were part of the cause of her anger by your actions. At least you know what not to do for the future hey
Glad you are enjoying your iphone. What is the battery like on those things? I'm upgrading my phone soon too.
