[smartcookie]

<<I have been completely exhausted and unable to update. I'm sorry for not commenting on your threads as well... I just feel so drained.

big warm hugs

<<It's obvious that my husband and I have a HUGE communication problem.

I think you communicate beautifully. I think he has a HUGE problem.

<< Apparently he was only joking around when he said "talking messes things up" and the comment about friends with benefits.

For the record, a joke is something that both people would find funny. Cruel humor, obnoxious humor, or derogatory humor is not a joke. It's a way to be abusive, & then play it off as harmless.

<<That's when he said he was only joking around and that this was a prime example of my hyper-sensitivity. I'm not doing a great job of conveying what was said.

Him calling you "hyper-sensitive" is verbally abusive. Don't believe him. Please go get this book The Gaslight Effect.

<<We ended up going to dinner together. I told him I thought he was very confused and he asked if we could consider this a "separation" rather than a definite road to divorce. I told him I would be OK with that, but there was a lot of stuff that needed to be discussed, thought over, etc.

Did you mention that he would need to be kissing your *ss for a very long time ??? Do I need to come over there & give you DAM *ss kicking lessons ?

<<We do not communicate well at all.

Again, you do great. He's got some very bad habits.

<<He still says he's concerned that he won't be able to make me happy forever.

He's blaming it on you already. That he can't "make" you happy forever......? You're not that hard to please. I can tell that from here.

<<I think my absence from home is more painful than he realized and I think he's starting to understand what a giving wife I have been.

If it was me, I'd make him sweat good & long before I considered going anywhere. He put you through hell, & now he just wants to kiss & make up. He's pissing me off big time. He hurt my girlfriend, & I'm ready to kick his butt around the block numerous times.

Remember........"we teach people how to treat us". He'd better get ready to learn.

love ya, hugs for you & cat treats for your OM