Insecurity is real and it is a consequence of his affair. You should have a talk about your need for reassurance. You went through an emotional trauma and it has left a scar. You will not be able to heal completely without his help and reassurance. This is not something that happens quickly, so you need to ask him to be patient and helpful.
I was reading back through my thread and this jumped out at me. I actually did something along these lines tonight.
We were in bed (after having S in the shower) and I just asked if I could tell him something. Told him I'm not mad, I just need you to know how I feel.
I told him that I no longer feel *special,* like I'm the *one & only* for him as there have been others besides me since we've been married. I told him I think I will always feel this way. I can't change that -- the truth is there have been others.
He said "I'm sorry" and then he said "God, I hope so" and I said "what do you mean" and he said "I hope you can change the way you feel and not feel that way forever."
Anyway, now I can't sleep, not upset, glad that I could tell him that so he knows how I feel about some of the things he has done.
I also asked him point blank if "things are ok with us" and he said "everything's great" and I just asked if he would truly talk to me about anything bothering him now instead of keeping it all in and then deciding he can't do it anymore and want to just get out.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
