An example of the time-line: from my own situation:

Phase 1 (heal yourself): 1/07-6/07 (6 months)
Phase 2 (learn to serve your spouse): 7/07-10/07 (4 months)
Phase 3 (get spouse on board): 11/07 (1 months)
Phase 4 (working together): 12/07-present (9 months, so far)

Is this breakdown making sense to anyone else?
or am I simply describing what fits my own particular case?

-- B.

Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs
S25, D23, S13, S10
20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007