lwb: It is not up to your H to ask you how much you need unless that number exceeds the minimum child support. If you need more for things like sports equipment, dance lessons etc - you will most likely have to supply receipts and he will have to pay his share.
When my H lived with me, he NEVER paid for anything for the kids. I paid for EVERYTHING from their acitivities, toys and clothers to vacations etc. It was a HUGE shock to him to learn how much kids really cost. It is now hilarious for me to see that he has to legally fork over money for them. maggot had to as well as she abandoned her son and had to pay her ex CS and later, college expenses. Ha ha ha! That is reality when you have children. Even if you run away to behave like one - they don't disappear and you do have to pay. It certainly cut down on their monthly spending money which they no doubt thought they'd use for fun. And with Ex's DUI - his insurance must be through the roof. I had helped him with high risk insurance following 2 careless charges when we were together. What a joy! I'm so glad to be free of that.
Nope, don't worry about him not having the money. They all say that. He will have to live in less luxurious accomodation in order to provide his children with the best.
It's a beautiful day! The sun is shining here in Canada and the next couple of days look good too. This helps, as I am hosting our family reunion here on Saturday and it has poured rain for the past 2 reunions, the only ones I've ever hosted. Hopefully this year it will be held outside!
More straying husbands and MLC garbage.
My former next door neighbours have split. And everyone is shocked. He was cheating on her with a co-worker. His wife didn't have a clue. She was grieving the sudden death of their wonderful son who died 2 years ago while H was taking long lunches at work. And everyone knew. My best friend's H worked with him (this is how I knew). He lost his job when the affair came to light last year but apparently he still hid if from his wife as early retirement. But I'm learning now that she has found out and he has chosen OW> I am SICKENED by this.
G (the H) was so supportive of me when Chuck left. Being next door, they would both fly to my side if Chuck showed up and gave me grief. He KNOWS how hard it was on the kids and I and how much it hurt. But NEVER for them. They were so loving. I could see into their yard - they always worked on it together. Always walked the dog together. Always were hand in hand. We also did social things together as couples and her and I as friends. But she pulled back when their son died and barely leaves the house.
Yesterday I ran into her SIL and we talked for over an hour, both of us in tears. She had just found out 3 weeks ago that they were splitting. I knew more than her but didn't share the info. My concern was how to help. I guess I'll call and let her know that I'm thinking of her and we should do lunch. Then leave the ball in her court. This is so hard to see her go through more sorrow.
Then there is my other friend, "C", who just emailed me that her H has taken a new mistress and won't be attending a social event we're going to in 2 weeks. She informed me he is moving in with his parents. She is in the process of getting her younger daughter ready for university. And she is a mess. She told me not to call since he monitors her calls (what?) so I just told her to call me and we'll go out.
Does no one value marriage anymore? Do most men cheat? In my circle this is becoming the rule rather than the exception it was when Chuckie left. I feel so saddened by these new events. But I'm strong and I will do what I can to help them. If they will let me.
Went to the funeral home tonight for a lovely lady who passed away. I took my dad with me since he had also known her for years. She was the receptionist at the dance studio I attended where I started at the tender age of 4. Now you can talk about people who have achieved great status or earned a lot of money or sit in a high position in the community but that was not Norma. She was a Mom to 3. Lost her H in the war. Had to raise the kids on less than most. But she had a smile and a warmth about her that one could never forget. And I never did.
They lived in our neighbourhood and went to our church. Her son was in my dad's scout troop and he was my first love. I was 8. He barely knew I existed. But he danced at our studio (he was 12) and I would see him at church. Or see his name on my dad's Scout list and my little heart would flutter. And I told my parents that when I grew up I was going to marry him. Funny thing is - their last name was Darling (yes, like the family in Peter Pan). And our last name was Dear (as in Dear John). So my Mom would tease that when I grew up and married Bobby our kids would have Grandma Dear and Grandma Darling. So funny.
I didn't see Norma for a few years after my studio had closed and I moved on to a new one. But when I opened my dance school - she showed up at my first recital. And then came every year and made a point of telling me she would never miss my show. Then one year, Bobby showed up at the studio, bringing his little daughter along to class. What a thrill for me! I always thought he was a wonderful dancer and couldn't imagine him wanting me to teach his own. But they moved away out west after a year.
I got a call one time from a tv producer looking for an elderly tap dancer. The only one I knew of was Norma so I called her and got her the job. But they needed another and asked me to grey my hair and do it as well. So Norma and I tap danced in a tv show. We got call backs and had to do more tapings in Toronto. I took her and her daughter with me and we had such fun. Something I will never forget.
And Norma was a good friend of my Mom's. They belonged to some clubs together and got along well. Norma and her daughter were there when my Mom passed away.
At the funeral home I saw Bobby for the first time in about 25 years. And he remembered me. (I didn't share the fact that I had planned our life together nearly 45 years ago). And he pointed out our dance teacher, she had come in right in front of me. What a shock - I hadn't seen her since I was a skinny, leggy, pale, freckled little girl who somehow became a good dancer. It was a neat thing to see her again after all these years.
So Norma lived a great life. She was 90 when she died. She tap danced in Sr's homes to entertain the residents up until the day she died. And she touched many people's lives.
As I said - she was not rich or famous. But it was the way she treated people that made everyone remember her.
Yeah, I wondered if I should have but it didn't feel like the right time. Knowing his mom - that would have pleased her so much. I think she always felt like I was "one of hers" since I'd danced at the studio she worked at. Him, he'd probably rather forget that he danced. It wasn't common for boys to dance in our city and I'm sure he was razzed for it. He was very talented though. And those were the days we'd watch the Mickey Mouse Show and see the dancers. Later Bobby Burgess danced on the Lawrence Welk Show. And we watched the Go Go Girls on "The Happening" and Bandstand and even Laugh In. It was a great time to be involved in dance.
And I had to laugh. My dad is always a businessman, likes to wear a suit to this type of occasion. Well, I guess he was waiting for me sitting on a chair on his porch. Guess he hasn't dusted the chair off in a while. When he got in the car I noticed he had a dusty butt. My dad would not like that - he is a very tidy person. So, when we got to the funeral home I had to "dust him off". It was really quite funny. I told him that I was sure he'd done that plenty of times with me after a day at the beach when I was small. He laughed and took it well. Usually he does NOT like anyone else taking care of him.
It is different now without Mom. She always read the obits and informed me who had passed and she always went with dad. Dad doesn't take the paper any more and I rarely get one in the summer. I guess it was meant to be that I read the paper today and learned about Norma.
Well, I remember something I heard a while back (though not the exact words) but it was "You will remembered long after you pass away - not for the things you had, but for the way you made other people feel".
Norma knew me as the little kid at the studio. The one who probably left class to go to the bathroom. The one with the gangly legs and uncoordinated arms - yep - that was me! But she made me feel like a princess and continued to do so all my life. And I shed tears at the funeral home despite the fact I wasn't even that close to her, really. But she warmed my heart.
Busy day here. Got to clean up my craft stuff which is in my dining room because I like the view and I get the right light. Move it to the craft room.
Fabio (not his real name, but he looks just like him) will be here shortly to fix my bbq and washer. Yes, Ashley tried to burn down the house and flood the upper floor. Fortunately we have another washer for Ryan so we've used that all summer but it is time. And we need the bbq this Sat.
Tonight is our first Open House at the dance studio. Time to be thinking about back to work and doing schedules and registration. So I need to work on that.
This afternoon is Ryan's semi-annual assessment. It will be held here. Shouldn't take too long, but needs to be done. He is doing great -so it will be a breeze but need to move the giant, new dollhouse off the coffee table.
And Sat I am hosting our annual family reunion. Aunts and uncles (the few who remain after the past 6 months), cousins and their kids, siblings etc - it will be huge. And fun. And maybe for once it won't rain. We have a wonderful, large backyard that opens onto a park with baseball, beach volleyball, track etc. No one ever gets to use them since it always storms and they're forced inside. But not this time!
So, you can see I'm up to my ears in it. Need to go and take a shower. And begin. Sometimes I dread such business. But today I embrace it. Been too dormant too long. Time to see people. And embrace them. And try to remember how Norma made them feel. And make that my goal too.
