Hi Mike, In my opinion, DBing is about saving yourself because in order to restore and make a marriage better, things need to change. Once we all take some accountability for the problems in our marriages and change the problem, things get better.
My H notices all the time the way I have changed. I used to have no patience when things did not go as planned. I am your AAAAA personality (must be a teacher thing!!) and now I say "it is what it is..." I deal with things as they happen and I don't jump the gun.
As far as your friends only seeing the fact that your W is with OM and that your M should be over...well that brings back memories of my friends and some family saying the same thing to me..."file before he does...screw him to the wall financially..."
Me not doing any of these things left many perplexed. They thought I was crazy. My response used to be (and still is, when people find out that H and I are together..) is "I hope you never have to experience what I have experienced...but until you do please do not make judgement calls about what I have decided to do for me, H and my children. I appreciate your concern but would much rather have your support." Usually, I leave them speechless. I have lost friends over this whole thing but the way I look at it, my true friends have stuck by me no matter what.
When does school start for you? We start Monday...so early this year!
