Hi Rob - Thanks for advise. I dont feel I am in early days as the first discovery was 4 years ago. It has only been 4 months though since i came clean. Perhaps he is in early shock with that.
I am really responding to your previous statement:
Originally Posted By: max030
He returned home for 6 weeks and then 3 weeks ago decided to leave again. I am DEVASTATED.
Sure, the M has had problems for a long time - but in terms of trying to work on it "in DB terms" you are just getting started.
Originally Posted By: max030
it seems the harder I try in marriage the further away he goes. I need to get him to a position where he believes the marriage and family are worth fighting for. Once i am there I am prepared to do all that it takes to rebuild trust etc.
That's a tough one, I know. You need to guard against "pursuing" behavior - chasing after him right now, while he is still confused and hurting, is likely as not to cause him to withdraw further. Give him space for the time being.
Originally Posted By: max030
As I live in New Zealand i cannnot get hold of the Divorce busting books although i will try Amazon.
I'll bet you can get ahold of DR, either on Amazon or through this web site (link at the top that says DB Store).
Originally Posted By: max030
Meanwhile i need some direction.
The best thing I can tell you right now is, Don't Panic. Read through the situations of other people here on the site and you'll see that you are not alone, and learn more about how to handle this.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
