Focus on the EXCEPTIONS

[Mike85]

Honestly, most of the "glass half empty moments" have been of my own doing.

I choose to take an innocuous or offhand comment, a look, etc. and in my own mind turn it into something far worse than it actually is. The funny thing is, I don't do a similar thing with POSITIVE interactions with W, since I've been "trained" here that one of the big words here is "caution" with regards to optimism ("e.g., "don't set yourself up"). As a result, I had a very easy time getting myself in a mental doom spiral (esp. in mornings and late at night), but a much harder time being positive.

What helped (and still helps) me stop the negativity?

-Calming down and taking stock in how far W and I have come in just three short months since the "bomb."

-Remembering that W has never used the "D word" at any point in speaking with me. Ever. Heck, she has even dropped mentioning the "S word."

-Knowing darned well that my sons love me and will continue to help be a tie between W and myself.

-Remembering to "act as if" when interacting with W at times that I fear might be confrontational. 99% of the time, things actually work out well.

-Looking at interactions with W as God-given opportunities to show her my positive changes, demonstrate my support and love, and exercising patience.

-Ditching the "helpful advice" of third-parties who just don't get the concept of standing for marriage. It's hard enough as it is without a virtual chorus of naysayers creating more useless static.