I'm back after a long absence

[123snap]

why do I always panic after a long talk. I start to think that there is more, I don't trust what is said. I think it is because I have found out some stuff long after the fact. I can always believe the bad but not any of the good. I have some good things to reflect on. I am in school and will be for another nearly 2 years, H said that he thinks no matter what we should change anything (ie him move out) until I am done with school, for both my sake and the kids, they need the stability. So I need to remember that takes the pressure off, and it does but makes me dread the future as well

He is willing to work on this and talk, I know it takes him time to put his feelings and emotions into place so I can't expect break throughs in an instant. He said and yes I agree that our interlude was really more just sex than ML, and I do agree, there was something not there, it was fun, but not ML you know. However I still think that his initiation and feeling those wants was step in the right direction, he is reluctant to agree, and I suspect he is afraid of defining something and then feeling differently about it later when he has had more time to think about it.

I just crave some positive in a big way, and am having a hard time seeing the positive because I am so scared and concerned