First of all. You told him. So the cat's out of the bag. Don't regret it.
The reason you had the affair was that your marriage needed some work. Now you know that. You'll both need to work on it.
It sounds like you need to give your husband some space. He's hurt deeply.
Read the Divorce Remedy.
You can skip ahead to the infidelity section.
If your H is ready to come back to the table here's what you will need to do:
1. Write an email to your former affair partner. Tell him it's over and it was a big mistake. Apologize for hurting his marriage. Tell him you will never contact him again and tell him you don't want him to contact you ever again. Show the letter to your husband.
2. Never, ever contact that guy again. Don't respond to his text messages or calls. If necessary, change your cell phone number.
3. Be transparent to rebuild trust. Give your husband access to your cell phone, call records and email.
