I had a text from her yesterday. Did I receive school papers in the mail. I waited a half hour and texted no.
End of conversation.
I had some friends over last night. We watched some of the NIN concert in HD and surround sound.
The kid who I refer to as my little brother I never had and he shall be known as J. He brought over his girlfriend. He is 18 and she is going to be 16. She is a really sweet girl, but I think she is only going to hurt him.
Her parents are divorced. She told me that her mother has been married four more times already.
She also met J through somewhat of a cheat, blind date thing. J got her number from a friend and texted her, and they started talking. She had a boyfriend at the time. Then her and J went on a double blind date and then they started going out, and have been together for 8 months.
What I find troubling is that the girls cell phone kept getting texts while she was there. She finally confessed that it was a male neighbor, but she would always hurry up and grab her phone so that J wouldn't be able to see what was being said. The concern is that she is going steady with J, but still flirting with other guys right in front of his face.
I got to tell her some crazy stories about my wife that J wanted me to tell her. Thing is J was at my house a lot. He helped me a great deal with the addition, getting firewood, and picking up supplies at the home center. We also went golfing, hunting, and shooting together. I would have adopted this kid.
My wife would always say you would rather be with J then your own kids. Thing is when I was with J I wasn't drinking. We were working. If we were not working and if we went golfing, there are plenty of times we took the kids or at least one of them that wanted to go.
Yes my daughter and son went par 3 golfing at a young age on a semi big course. The have a hole that is over 200 yards.
Well my other friend also came over because J called him. He was in a pretty bad mood. I was talking about my wife, and we were bringing up stories. He was giving me crap about how he tried to tell me I drank too much, because my wife asked him too. Then he would drink with me.
Then I had a flashback of snapping when she was home. I was walking down the steps to our basement screaming things back at her. I don't rememeber what it was about, but I remember just pretty telling my wife to STFU and get off my A$$.
Like I said she was constantly on my a$$ about everything. Both of my friends even said that again last night.
Well J and his girlfriend left. Then me and other friend starting talking. He was really giving me the business. He had been drinking all afternoon. I guess he said he was sick of me always giving him the business so he was just giving it back to me. I said well I'm not in the right frame of mind to hear hurtful things, but go ahead.
The guy is like a brother to me. He also helped me out a ton with the addition. He would never say no to anything if I called him and needed help.
He hung out at my house a lot. Him and my wife were also friends. He would call her during the day while I was at work and ask her for womanly advice about some girl he was chasing.
Then the conversation go ugly. Because when she picked up the kids the other night. I saw her go up to him and talk to him. I said well what did she say. She asked what kind of a mood I was in. He said that I was fine.
I said wrong answer. I'm not fine. You should have said go and talk to him about how he is feeling. I then asked him if she talks to him. He said that she texted him a few times during the summer, because my kids missed him. I said you see that is the same crap my cousin did. He wasn't being truthful with her about me or anything, and playing both sides of the fence. Trying to be friends to both of us. Then he got mad and left.
I called him and we talked on the phone for 40 minutes. Turns out he is depressed again. He has no interest in anything. He doesn't want to finish school. He doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. His family is driving him nuts. He feels as though he never accomplished anything. He just wanted to leave his job, but he didn't know what he wanted to do. He doesn't want to dump his problems on me because I have enough of my own.
I tell him that isn't a problem. I said you are like a brother to me. Your problems I can listen. I'm hear for you. I said by everything you just said and some other things that you said earlier you are helping me understand her point of view. I think you both are in some form of depression. I'm not a doctor, but you are pretty much saying the same things she has said. I told him to see a doctor. Then he said what good will that do because he doesn't have health insurance. I said you can go to the clinic. He said he doesn't want too.
We also talked about God. He doesn't believe in any of it. I remember when he would say that in front of my wife. She would give him the riot act. Bible thumping, but no bible versus. She would punch him in the arm serveral times and say there is a God, there is a God, and don't come in my house and say that there isn't.
I said brother I know where you are coming from with that too. I explained to him that since I was a young child I always knew there was a God. This was revealed to me by grace. I said maybe it has not been revealed to you.
Then I told him the story about the pagan woman who came to Christ and asked Christ to heal her daughter from a demon. Christ ignored her. She called out even the dogs get scraps from the masters table. Christ stated that by your faith you have been redeemed, and her daughter was healed and freed from the demon within an hour.
Maybe I planted a little seed with him. But it also put something else into prespective and I told him this. I said brother. My wife is so staunchly Catholic, but she wants a divorce. Now there is no divorce in the Catholic church. So how can she say she is so Godly and go through with this. I mean we are in the seperation stage. I said she doens't even go to Church anymore. She doesn't even talk to her sister, and she doesn't talk to her good friend.
I also said I'm sorry I'm trying to live through you to communicate with my wife, because everything is a scrap. If she talks to you and asks you how I'm doing, you need to tell her to talk to me. If you don't feel comfortable because she gets mad at you saying the things like he misses you, he is sad and depressed, all he thiks about is the kids. Then say nothing to her. I think a better answer would be to just talk to him about it and stop being so mean to him.
I also said to him. I'm sorry you left mad. I'm sorry she is all I talk about. I will try and be a better friend to you.
Well then I texted her good night, and she replied good night.
The thing that gets my goat is nothing is helping. I had two men in her life that were close to me and they played both sides of the fence. Why?
