The did sleep all night. I need to get unwired. I am scheduling a massage for today. And going to an evening yoga class.
I am see part of the problem is just when I start to feel a little rested - I dive into work again.
I am going to shoot for a normal work schedule - an 8 hour day and then turn it off well before bedtime.
I thought I was balancing life but really I was working much more during the week so that I would have time to get a life on the weekends. Just squeezing what I did over 7 days into 5.
When one door closes another one opens. It is possible that if the Humongo Client door should close - there are a number of doors that pay more that will open... Since these are companies that compete against each other - I will have to choose one and let the other go.
However, nothing can be decided today. It will probably be at least 3-6 months before the possibilities present themselves for choices to be made. And at this point I really do not know how the cards will fall with respect to Humongo Client. They are in transition - I am outside counsel. While I am one of their acting in-house counsel - I am not really viewed as one of the old guard during this massive housecleaning. There is a possibility they will need me more.
So I need to not think about this now - and let it go b/c thinking about it right now just adds stress. I need the strength to ride this out and be patient and not say or do anything till the time is right.
On the taking steps to put myself out there and meet more people - men and women. The thank you party for the volunteers where I volunteered at the beer tent is this Saturday. And there is a bar association happy hour downtown next week. The goal is to go to a social event at least once a week. That too is coming together - the effort I made the past few months are bearing fruit now.
The other goal is when I go to a social event - I have to make the effort to look nice. I have continued the mascara/lipstick thing. And I have upgraded my wardrobe with new summer clothing - and it is nice but very casual laid back type of clothing. Ann Taylor and The Loft should be almost giving away their summer clothing by now - I am going to stop by and see if there is anything left in my size.
I am also going to schedule a hair cut. It has been 8 months since my last one - things need to be shaped. And maybe I will even get my eyebrows done again - they have grown back since the last time.
The Resort is French - so there are evenings where you dress up a little more. I can take these dresses there. I will draw the line at high heels - I absolutely hate high heels. I feel like I am one step away from falling down. I use to use The X as a walking stick on those rare occasions I use to wear heels.
I know - too many goals again... I want to have my house completely together before I leave. I hate coming home to housework after a vacation. That really will take one full day of cleaning.... I need to look into a maid service when I get back. I need to offload some of the things in my life to someone else. I simply cannot do it all myself.
And it is possible that I am turning Republican - I know quite a change considering my prior rants and my very liberal social standing. But really I am getting nothing - nada - zippo back from the gov't. Nope didn't get rebate checks either. That is part of my stress too... I never thought this would happen - but that is part of the anger I am feeling lately. And really I am ready to make less than pay more in taxes. My parents will shoot me...will make for an interesting discussion with my dad... Barbara is right - my anger towards SAHM was wrong. I need to take more steps to take care of me. This is a world where really everyone looks out for themselves. I have spent far too much of my life thinking of others first.
I am still tired. I still need the vacation. And my sleep cycle is not back to normal yet. Hopefully some of the goals for today will get me back. While I have done some crazy late nights working - sleep has never been a problem for me. For that matter that matter - neither has food. Not eating enough is probably part of the tiredness problem. And then my workout is off - and that stresses me out even more.
Life is good - I just need to get my life back in order.
