I don't know if she understands yet or not. The afternoon of her rage over my wanting to seek counseling, I emphasized how I needed the physical part of our relationship to connect with her emotionally. I also asked that she pick up reading SSM again and in particular ch. 1.
I still don't know if it has clicked in her mind and she has had that "OMG, what have I been doing to him all of these years?" moment. Unless she tells me, how will I know?
