Supportive and Proud Weather She Likes it or Not!!

[TwinDad]

I no longer feel pain or hurt about this; except for the pain I feel that she is hurting soooooooo bad. All I want is for her to be happy. I can not give her that she has to make it happen. What ever she decides to do I will support. I am now her friend completely. Her H is gone for a good while and its better this way.

Actually her H might have finally walked in the building, this might not be what her H wants, but he has compassion for the hurt she is in even though it is that hurt which has caused him all this pain in the last couple of months. That is detachment my friend. You are a good man for saying this!


Now on to sitch, backslide. I am not certain what was said with her parents but try to put yourself in her position. Most of the world probably thinks you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Most probably don't have a clue as to why she would feel the need to walk. So now all of her family/friends, anyone who knows her thinks she is making a huge mistake. They are also probably blaming her for this and saying some pretty self righteous things. Afterall you and the others are in a position of being "right"...standing up for M.

Makes her existence a pretty lonely one.....doesn't it. Some of her best friends and family have turned their back on her or even "attacked" her for this decision. She had some pretty strong emotions this evening.

If her parents or friends ask you anything along these lines again just say something like "it is not what I would like, but I want her to be happy and I support her in any decision she may want to make". So what is her best friend going to say to her........?

If you have any conversation/correspondence with her in the next several days make it something along the lines of: "It is unfair that you are being made out to be the bad-guy in this sitch, we both had a part in this. I may not like that we are sep, but I do share in the blame. You deserve to have more support in this"


This is just my take and you are right, some it may be guilt, but a lot of it is, she is in an impossible position. She sees more of you (granted the old you) than anyone else....so they bascially think she is crazy for wanting this. I had some very similar occurances in my sitch (I was the golden boy.....). I personally don't feel my W made a mistake in sep......it has been one of the greatest gifts she has given us and me in the 12 years we have been together.