Well not a huge update but I guess my hubby was busy all day yesterday and that is why he did not text. Kinda weird but at least we got in contact today. Our counseling session is going to be on monday so while I wish it was sooner at least it is schedualed.
So we were talking today a bit and things were going well. Just chatting. I asked him if he wanted to hang out or just wait to see each other on Monday (obviously wanting him to help make plans to get together soon) however he said he figured we could just wait until Monday But then he said "but that could just be my lethargic depressed state talking" Whatever the heck that means. So I said "ok whatever you think is best" and he said "ok" and then I asked about Monday. I actually needed to know whether we were planning on hanging out because I might have to go into work later in the afternoon. So I asked him if he was planning on leaving afterwards or spending the day together and he said "we can hang out but I probably won't want to spend the whole day there" which hurt my feelings obviously. I wrote back and said "I thought we were having fun" and he said "we are" and I was like "well then I don't know what to say. It just hurts my feelings when you don't make an effort to see me especially since we are not going to see each other until then. I just feel rejected." and he wrote back "that is making an effort. I might feel different that day but I might not" so I wrote back "You're right, I know you are making an effort. And I am thankful. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I just miss you sometimes." and then he wrote back "I don't know why" and I was like "?" so he said "I don't know why you miss me somtimes" and I (kinda annoyed at this point) said "Sometimes I don't know why either. . ." and he said "I knew I wasn't crazy" and I wrote back "Debatable :)" because I wanted to try and lighten the mood before I pushed him too far.
The conversation turned for the better and we were joking around a little more before he said he had to get back to work. I said "ttyl then" and he said he would talk to me tomorrow since it would be past midnight when he got off work so he said goodnight. I wrote back goodnight and then he wrote goodnight again. . .not sure what that was all about.
So now I am mixed up, hurt, and confused. I know things are going in a positive direction and that I have nothing to complain about but sometimes I just get frustrated. I don't understand why he does not want to get together before our session. That is almost a week away and it has been a few days since we have seen each other. I would be more understanding if he was working a lot or had stuff going on but he is not working and I know that he has nothing going on at home because he tells me that he just gets bored a lot. So if he is bored at home and can admit that he has fun when we are together why would he not want to get together? Grrr!
The other thing that drives me nuts is that just a week or so ago he told me that he missed me too so why is he questioning that now? When we are getting closer than ever?
I know he was tired and he told me that he was in one of his "moods" when he gets down and depressed. So not a great combo to be asking about getting together but still. . .I just don't get it sometimes.
So I sent out a few texts to friends and am trying to make plans so that I have something to go out and do each day to keep my mind busy before our session together. I also have personal stuff to do (see above posts) I just need to get out and do it now!
Alright well if anyone has any advice or insights (would appreciate a mans point of view on all this madness) that would be great!
But then he said "but that could just be my lethargic depressed state talking" Whatever the heck that means. So I said "ok whatever you think is best" and he said "ok" and then I asked about Monday. I actually needed to know whether we were planning on hanging out because I might have to go into work later in the afternoon. So I asked him if he was planning on leaving afterwards or spending the day together and he said "we can hang out but I probably won't want to spend the whole day there" which hurt my feelings obviously. I wrote back and said "I thought we were having fun" and he said "we are" and I was like "well then I don't know what to say. It just hurts my feelings when you don't make an effort to see me especially since we are not going to see each other until then. I just feel rejected." and he wrote back "that is making an effort. I might feel different that day but I might not" so I wrote back "You're right, I know you are making an effort. And I am thankful. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I just miss you sometimes." and then he wrote back "I don't know why" and I was like "?" so he said "I don't know why you miss me somtimes" and I (kinda annoyed at this point) said "Sometimes I don't know why either. . ." and he said "I knew I wasn't crazy" and I wrote back "Debatable :)" because I wanted to try and lighten the mood before I pushed him too far. 