Piecing (or so I want to believe)

[7 Year Itch]

Thanks so much you guys. Your encouragement (from those in the trenches) really means alot. I swear I feel like I'm at battle, and you all are my little soldiers with me! LOL People that haven't been there, fighting for their marriage like CRAZY, just don't quite get it. My friends and family are supportive, but at times I think they think I'm deluded. Oh well. I've gotta live this life, better do all I can.

So, good news. I was invited on the overnight camping trip this weekend. Woo Hoo. So we'll be leaving early Sat., and coming home Sun afternoon. So over 24 hours together. Watch out! LOL

Feeling the pressure to be MAGNIFICENT. LOL I know this sounds dumb, but geez.... I sort of look forward to the day when maybe I can just be tired, cranky, have a bad hair day, and STILL know I'm loved. I used to feel that way, and now I just feel like I've got to be "on" at all times. It sucks. I'm not being fake, but I guess I just feel like I can't quite let it all "hang out" right now.

Tonight was interesting. We got the girls to bed, and I was BEAT! Seriously exhausted (think I might be coming down with something. It better wait until AFTER Sat.) So he came in and laid down on the bed, and we chit chatted awhile. He mentioned being so tired, and I said....... "me too. I'm ready for bed". Next thing I know he stands up, and pulls the covers over me, and does this cute little "tuck in" move. I sort of laughed and said....... "thanks. Now if only I didn't have to wash my face, brush my teeth, turn out the lights etc..... I wouldn't move". Next thing I know he is back on the bed, tickling me, being goofy. Totally grabbing at me.

So then I said.."You know, I haven't denied you ONCE in 4 months, but tonight I am. I am SO stinkin' tired." Well, he kept it up, and kept it up, and one thing led to another.

Every situation is different, but I swear for us. Through the few months of doubt I had about whether keeping ML with him was smart or not, I really feel like THAT physical connection has been a lifesaver for us. Time will tell what happens in the end, but I feel like had I cut ALL ties, we'd be halfway divorced by now. It's crazy how a major thing lacking in our marriage might now be the glue holding us together.

This is quite the crazy ride.

Chris