lwb: No hijack at all. I am totally with you on this. I chose mediation despite the fact it was the more difficult road for me. I have a seriously disabled child who has medical compensation since his brain damage was caused by a dr's negligence. Seriously, as bizarre as it might seem - I think ow (fondly referred to by us as 'maggot') wanted to get her hands on the $. In Canada, a home is split 50/50 between the spouses. In our case, our home was partially owned by my son's assets as it was built with specialties for him. The courts would not recognize that so I knew I had to use mediation in order to secure my son's share.
But, as you say - they sit stonefaced and act like you are NOBODY! Mine was even cruel. When his own L suggested he do whatever was in the kids' best intention, I asked if he would consider taking them away for a w/e since he'd never had them so much as for one overnight since they refuse to be near maggot. He said "not without maggot". So he clearly chose her over them.
I found myself crying more in mediation than almost ever. Because of the frustration of looking at the shell of a man I loved, but not getting anywhere near the person inside.
How is it going for you?
Take comfort in the fact that mediation will likely save you a ton of money as it did with me. My D cost me in total about $14,000. If I'd Dd in court the minimum would have been about $35,000 up.
