"The letter he refers to is actually "The Offer" he gave me (& took back & gave me) a while back"
The big question becomes.. Why is he looking for control? See. you even wrote about it.. give it.. take it back.. give it again. The key.. lies.. somewhere between.. him giving.. then taking it back. Gotta expect.. it did not have the effect he was looking for.
"I guess he wants to hear some feedback before he files, b/c as he says, he doesn't like surprises."
So... he wants you to communicate.. under pressure? Me being the King of DAM and all.. I would say that you usually communicated the most clearly.. when you were under pressure. The Advanced DAM in me.. says he wants you to talk..
If you are ok with everything in the "papers".. Roll with it. If you are not.. tell him.
"Yes, I got that with the question of how long I wanted this limbo state to go on...as if it was me keeping it there."
KODAM.. You can't see my "effort". I am Trying... what do you want me to do???
What is keeping you "here" is a joint effort.. more of the same.
"What choices do you see?"
The same I always see. Make a choice. Understand why.. you made that choice. And move on. We tend to spend a lot of time making choices. We sit on the fence. The thing about life is.. even if your choices suck.. somehow.. they seem to work out.
What do you want.. for you?
Don't listen to me.. listen to that "voice".
Listen to me.. don't let "Emotion".. drive that voice!
"When I crested the hill on the way home today, I was hit with a sudden "You have mail" feeling, even as I had been thinking/feeling that he was missing me & moving away from OW."
Read that again!!
Which part.. was "No Emotion"?
"Keep in mind that when you compare your affair partner with your spouse, you are not really comparing two individuals."
You let "Emotion" drive
"What you are comparing is how it feels to be in an idealized, romantic relationship with how it feels to be in a reality-based, long-term relationship."
Long story short.. She will resemble you.. one day.
Where will he be then? What is he really fighting?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
