You are a very strong, loving (and forgiving) woman. You have proved that to yourself and to your husband. Of course you will always be (as we all are) a work in progress and don't ever forget that. Its actually what makes life worth living.
But... IMO you now have to step back and take a very serious look at the situation that the new, impoved Alimari is in.
Specifically, you need to look in a very objective way at the man you are with - not who you would like (and I've no doubt you deserve) him to be - but who he actually is right now.
Judging by what you've said here recently, he's a drunken and selfish jerk. He needs to get some serious help. He needs to work on himself (probably a lot). HE does.
You need to make that crystal clear to him.
And next time he speaks to you like that... DO NOT then have sex with him. That's not loving or forgiving - its enabling and rewarding him for unacceptable behaviour. But I think you already know that.
Do you have supportive family members or friends living nearby yourself?
I'm really praying for you.
Remember. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. AND YOU WILL BE FINE.
S&A
Thank you for this... and yes I have much to think about. How would YODA say it? Trying to be funny.... in light of the fact that it is not by any means funny.
I told the ladies, last nite , at the meeting, what breaks my heart the most, is I may have to say good bye, GOODBYE~ to a Man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. and that is heart breaking, devestating.
Its like you work really hard to build ... re~build.. this beautiful house. You put your heart and soul into and you spend years working on it... and then someone tells you , You cant live there... it has black mold.
ME? I would try to find a solution... is there one? Or just walk away from it.
For now I will give him time...but in the meantime... I will not bend over backwards for someone who wont do the same for me. I am exhausted from trying so damn hard.... he needs to learn to love me the way I am.
I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY WHEN IT ISNT SO COMPLICATED. When I am filled with gratitude. ONLY I can make myself happy that is true.. but when you have someone dragging at your feet it gets harder everyday to just feel Happy.
