CL--I understand your need to be careful and cautious--it's a big part of your nature. As a W who has experienced being shut out intimately, I would encourage you to be careful that you are not using the need for caution as an excuse to remain distant from your W. There's a great deal of pain in perceived and real rejection, that can easily fuel other areas of conflict. When approached right, physical intimacy can lead to emotional intimacy...at least it's worked for me.
"Act as if" is a big catch phrase around here, but it is a powerful concept. It's like contemplating jumping in a lake: we don't start to enjoy the water until we've jumped in and given our bodies a chance to adjust to the temperature. What seems scary and chilly at first can become comfortable and enjoyable.
