For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I can only think that that is what I was trying to do(buddy buddy) because, in my mind, the marriage was over and I was already trying to establish our after marriage relationship. I kept telling her that I wasn't fighting for our marriage anymore, but just being friendly to each other.

And then who knows where it could have led. But I AM fighting for our marriage still, even though she may not realize it. Hell, I don't think I realized it. I will keep trying until she initiates the D.

I think we also do that because it's simply easier. We're nice, good people, and it's easier to be someone's buddy than to come to the sad, awful realization that this person you married is no longer a friend of the marriage.

Puppy

[hopeful4her]

My FH would say one minute you are fine and the next you are a mess. He never figured out that sometimes that was all connected with him. Anyway, probably not good but since I wanted him to know that I wasn't ok, I told him. " Just so you know, I am not fine. I am just trying to get through the day." Not sure if it ever helped, since we are Divorced now but it made me feel better without getting into some big explanation of how I was. Hope that helps.

kat

I think they don't get it because they are just stupid people now. They have become true experts at turning a blind eye to the crap they have caused.

[hopeful4her]

I think we also do that because it's simply easier. We're nice, good people, and it's easier to be someone's buddy than to come to the sad, awful realization that this person you married is no longer a friend of the marriage.

How true, how true. And most of us just cannot truly fathom what they have done to us. Too surreal.

Like "As long as you come back, I'll look past what you have done and we can work on us."

But can we really?

[lost_in_space]

H4H,
I think it was Sandi who posted on my thread once something along the lines of it aint over until she is legally married to someone else (or of course until YOU say it is).

Yes, you have been fighting all along. You, me, and others are just "nice guys" and we have to beat that first. You have come a long way - keep it up.

REMEMBER THE ALAMO... ok, not really (just a silly Canuck trying to be a Texan???), but

REMEMBER YOUR D's AND YOU! That is the focus.

[hopeful4her]

The same to you, brother Canuck

[hopeful4her]

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[lost_in_space]

H4H

How's it going there bud?

[hopeful4her]

Not a whole lot going on.

Since GBG moved out and us having very little contact with each other, not much drama, except the couple confrontations. I am trying really hard to keep her out of my mind. Of course, the more I do that, I also struggle with trying to keep OTHERS out of my mind. Know what I mean?

My last few posts have involved my feelings more. My inner turmoil. What I should be doing. What I am doing. What I'm going to do. Why I'm doing what I'm doing. Who do I really want to do it with.

Right now, even though I don't have the kids this week, I don't really want to do much. I guess because everything is still so fresh. Maybe a tad depressed, I guess. I woke up early this morning. About an hour before I needed to. 5 am. I lifted some weights. I say I want to go out, but I don't actually do it, for the most part. I'm trying to make plans for Friday. Get to that live music bar downtown that a client opened.

I went to visit a dear old friend from high school. We were best friends up till a couple of years ago. Our families got together very often. When my stuff started, I lost touch with so many. His wife became best friends with my brothers wife who is now his ex who is also GBG's best friend now.

Did you get that?

Well, I found out he left his wife and took the kids. Moved in with his mother. His wife started going out nearly every other day with my ex SIL. He got fed up. She now lives with my ex SIL.

I told ya'll that my circle of friends and family seems very small. Like all my friends and family are intertwined somehow. And I know a LOT of people.

It has been probably nearly a year since I had even spoken to him. It was good to talk to him again. He had heard some things in speaking to my folks. I had heard some things about them from my folks, too. We are planning to get together soon. They split about 4 months ago. He's got all four of the kids nearly identical in ages as mine.

He talked about how hard it was. He was depressed. He was the one that left, but because of her. How much better he feels now. He told me that I'll get there too. I know I will, too.

I should be picking up S14 today from his dad to stay with me a couple of days. He'll probably go off to one of his bud's house for the most part, but that's ok.

Tomorrow is the night we go to D6's elementary school to meet the teacher and also to D11's middle school for the same, so GBG and I will both be there.

Wonder how to act. Well actually, I know how to act, but she will probably offer for us to have dinner out somewhere afterwards together.

She is off the rest of the week and should be going to Laredo on Friday and then also to the beach maybe on Saturday I think she said.

For not much going on, that was a long post
I'm funny that way.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

H4H,

You should make sure you have plans after that school orientation. Come dressed to it lookin' good and smellin' good.

Puppy

[kat727]

Why don't you see if S14 and his friends want to hang out at the house with you? It would be nice to hang out, maybe play video games, watch movies...get the idea.

Hey and just so you know, you don't always have to go somewhere to get a life.

kat