now I am feeling scared again, over analyzing, need to stop that, some things are what they are and not working under some hidden adgenda
I think the fact that he is being open and honest with me about his need and desires and how things have been in the past is a good thing
he is looking for a way to build the intimacy
I have to be open and let myself have the opportunity to build this, I have to let go of fear, it gets in the way and clouds the issues, it makes me speak before I can think about what I really want to say, not just the gut reactions, which aren't always the true feelings.
I have to be patient, understanding, loving, supportive all the good stuff, even when it is hard to be that way. Selfless, but I think in doing that I can feel better about me, I know that the fear and doubt makes me feel yucky, working and moving forward make me feel good, I don't like feeling scared and alone, I want to feel better, that is my ultimate goal, to feel good about myself. H can be a part of that, we have to work together for both of us to feel that way. I have to like me
rambling I know just need to put these thoughts down
Me 41 H 42 DD 11 DS 8 M 18 bomb 8/3/06 separating 9/18/08
