very interesting your background is in clinical psych- im working on my MFT (counseling psych) right now - very start and im not sure if its the right thing...
what became the hard part? thats my fear- too empathetic!~
well- thats good you told your H...maybe he'll take your advice and see a doc...who knows...they can take months to follow up on any health issues- sometimes never !!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
very interesting your background is in clinical psych- im working on my MFT (counseling psych) right now - very start and im not sure if its the right thing...
what became the hard part? thats my fear- too empathetic!~
Right out of undergrad (research/clinical psych focus) I started working as a counselor at a group home for extremely troubled teenage girls. It wasn't a good experience starting out all around, and uncommon, I think--the girls were very troubled, I wasn't mature or experienced enough to deal as well as I could have personally with their issues, the lead counselor of the place was not that much older or experienced than I was (!) and so couldn't really help us effectively help the girls.
It was a weird situation, and I don't think reflects most counseling situations. I don't think you have anything to worry about--plus, I think you would be great at counseling! Just make sure you get the support you need while you're trying to help others. I would imagine all your DB skills would help with detaching and also working on making yourself OK!
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
well- thats good you told your H...maybe he'll take your advice and see a doc...who knows...they can take months to follow up on any health issues- sometimes never !!
I know that IF he does have a chemical imbalance, as I told him in the e-mail, it doesn't negate all the other stuff: that we hurt each other, our pasts, etc. It just may be a baseline that is fairly easy to raise, it may address part of his sexual issue, but not all of it--because it also may be due to other psychological factors. All of which I've discussed with you guys. Now I think I've told you guys EVERYTHING I know about the issue. Sigh--it's a complex thing.
But...it's his deal if he wants to go to a doctor or take it seriously. I felt kind of morally obligated to tell him what I found out, but I can't control what he does about it.
BTW, guys--I'm just really enjoying myself these days. I've been trying to take pleasure in every activity I do, and smile more. And it's been working! I'm gonna go to a couple of events (by myself!) this week that sound interesting. Have a friend coming into town for the weekend, gonna pick up my iPhone sometime this week, am going to start making holiday travel plans.
It's weird how I can't quite remember now, what it felt like a few months (OK, weeks!) ago when I was sick to my stomach and crying all the time. I'm glad I can't completely remember--what I do remember was horrible. I still cry sometimes, but it feels SO much better to be detached and know that whatever happens, I will be OK.
Every night for the past few, I've been writing out my negative thoughts, and countering them with rational arguments, and it really helps to defeat them. When I think of them again, they lose their power, because I've already debated them in my mind. It is helping me get over some of the most hurtful things I say to myself, and if I had to go through the pain with my H to stop telling myself those things...
this whole thing may have been worth it.
Or is that because I can't remember what it felt like?
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
We could start out every post here, couldn't we?, as "Oh, S...!!!"
I just talked with H on the phone (he called). I was bright and cheery, smiling, when I picked up the phone cause I am in a good mood. I asked him how he was doing: "Not good." Bottom line is, he wants to come over on Saturday to do some work on the computer cause he can't make the computer that he just got actually work (???). I validated.
I (for real, not just acting as if) have too many things going on to say yes, so I told him that I would let him know--I have a friend in town, plus I have another friend visiting in another city that I want to go visit at some point this week/week end...
What should my priorities be at this point? H or my own plans? I'm thinking my own plans...
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
why not say, the computers there if you need it but you won't be because you are out with friends. shows him he can go to you for help, but not that you will bend to his every need. that is if it is cool that he is there when you are not. just make sure you erase your link to this site first can't have them knowing our playbook!!
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
I offered that he come over tonight and use the computer instead b/c I am too busy this weekend. Kind of a compromise, I guess...
I asked him about the infamous dopamine e-mail I sent him, and I sort of think he took it seriously. (!) Then he said, "Won't you be glad when you don't have to worry about me anymore?" I said, "I don't consider it a burden to be concerned about your health. Plus, I won't stop caring about you no matter what happens." I dunno if that meant anything to him, but I thought it might help dispel the idea that he is just a thorn in my side.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Bottom line is, he wants to come over on Saturday to do some work on the computer cause he can't make the computer that he just got actually work (???). I validated.