So much of what you have said about him before makes sense now. What has been swirling around in his head is booze. If he would only stop numbing his spirit by drowning his sorrow with a drink he may find the happiness in his life.
Maybe the break with his FOO is causing him to feel so much pain, he just doesn't know how to deal with it. Then he'll drink to try to stop his pain as this is the only way he knows how to stop the pain. I'm not making excuses for him and I still don't understand how he cannot find this comfort with you.
All we can do is to pray for him to heal. Pray for him to see what a blessing he has in his wife and children. The happiness for him is waiting right there in front of him if he will only open his eyes to see it.
Cinco
You just reminded me... I am Catholic. I am going to church to light a candle for my H once a week. And really pray for his healing for him to find his highest truth. I prayed for this everyday when we were seperated. So I deep down know/feel I am A PART~ *OF* his highest truth... Meaning I am who will love his wounded soul enough not to turn my back on him. To be the light at the end of the day that he needs to keep going. I love him unconditionally. And now I need to love him enough to let him fall flat on his face... to find his way back to sanity.
I used to think if I called to check on him that meant I was showing my love.. I was caretaking his drinking....I could go on and on
And when he no longer needs my light to light the way?
He will shine on his own and we can share our light together.
I was only at this alanon meeting for @45 minutes... But it was as if the light was turned off and someone turned it on and I can see more clearly. RE! his drinking. I am going to keep going and reading more on it. Yes the FOO stuff is killing him and he doesnt believe in reaching out , that is his problem.
He even asked in his tyrade.. oh so you think God would help me to feel better or differently? I calmy said yes I do.... He thinks he can fix evrything. He does not want to be vulnerable ever... when he is it is delicious. I have seen this part of him on occasion.
